Why a Man May Give You His Number Instead of Taking Yours.

This is another question I get more than a fair share of in the ol' inbox, but I've gotten a lot of messages regarding my last post on the subject.

I don't think it's rocket science, folks. There's any number of reasons a guy might do this.  I won't get into the whole philosophy of why or what it means. Instead, I'll just give you the quick hit on this.

  • The guy just wants to “pad” his ego.  He may or may not have any intention of talking to you further, instead, he just wants to know IF you will call or text him.  Yes, I've done this before… My ego was never boosted. FML.
  • He's just  not interested in you and offers you his number (or the rejection hotline) out of some sense of pity. How nice!  Doucher!
  • He's scared of rejection.  He might be afraid to ask you for his number and so you get his instead…
  • A misguided sense of control.  The guy may just want to take the pressure off himself and put it on to the woman. The problem, of course, is that women really don't respond to this sort of nonsense… Trust me. FML.
  • Sometimes the guy genuinely wants to know if the girl is interested; one way to do it is to see if she'll take the initiative. It's non traditional, but there are guys out there like this.

There are others, too, but Lost is coming on (as I write this) and I never DVR Lost, commercials and patience be damned!

How do you know which one of the above categories your guy fits into?  Um… Call him!  I'd like to think women have good intuition about these things, but they don't.  We're all pretty clueless about one another, men and women.  Press the action and make the call, then you needn't wonder any longer.

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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  1. Wow, Alex, how odd. ALL the guys I've dated have given me their numbers. I never saw it as unusual, and started to think it was the norm, but you're saying it's not?

    My take on it has been that the guys want to leave the ball in my court. It's like saying, "I'm interested. Now I'll leave it up to you to show me you are too." I saw it as being respectful, something like opening a door for me. It got to the point where I never liked when guys asked for my number, because it felt like they weren't interested.

  2. Disagree with all the points. Actually when a guy leaves his number it has nothing to do with above mentioned. The guy just wants fair game with no uncertainty. You see if I take a girls number she might just give me a wrong number or give me because she was polite. Getting a girl’s number doesn’t mean anything. I give my number only to girls whom I consider for serious relationship that means there is no one way love traffic it is both ways or nothing.

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