When It’s Time
It doesn't get delivered by carrier pigeon, but some sign in some form appears when you're paying attention that lets you know when it's time.
It was time. Renee let me know it was time I want kids, dude. I like you, I like this but I can't do this anymore. I want to find my guy. We both knew it was coming; expiration dates on FWB are known. I enjoyed my time with Renee, too. It was easy to be with her—our communication made it easy to melt into one another.
I said my goodbyes to her. I looked at the scrollback of our messages. Tiktoks, dick pics, her ample breasts. And so I deleted them. Gone for good. I felt a pit in my stomach when I did it, I didn't like the feeling.
And then I went to the texts of another former flame and looked at some of the history. I laughed at some of the things I saw. Got angry at others and delete. Gone.
I proceeded to delete several others. Then I went in and deleted the photos. Lots of photos. Google Photos makes it a little too easy to wipe the slate clean. Again, the pit in my stomach was nearly impossible to ignore, but I continued. I was deleting memories, people I once loved, moments revered, gone. Places, people (their titties) gone. All of it. A lot of photos that had a lot of sentimental value. Gone. I've spent the morning… mourning.
In just over a week, I'll step on a plane to see things I haven't seen. You know, when you go to the airport, they charge you for your baggage; the airlines do. How much luggage do you want to haul with you on your trip? Each piece of luggage has a cost; when you tally them all up, it's expensive, and what do they really add to your trip? To mine? Not much! Plus, if you do pay to lug around your old bags of stuff, it's difficult to get around—they slow you down and impede your progress.
At some point, you have to be selective with the luggage you take with you. What will allow you to move about more freely? It's a difficult choice we're forced to make.
Lighten your load, fellow traveler. It's going to be a long trip.
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