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3 Day Rule… This Guy's Perspective

The 3 Day Rule – Does it depend on how you met? Is getting a number at a bar different than getting a number on a dating web site?


1. I'm curious how many people buy into the ‘wait three days before you call' rule you got a number from?

I'm on the fence about this one. I've done it both ways with mixed success. I tend to pull the trigger a little early if I really liked her, and I'll wait if I'm not feeling it that much.

2. Does it depend on how you met? Is getting a number at a bar different than getting a number on a dating web site?

I also think this is a factor. Bar / coffee shop meets (which I suck at), I tend to wait. I suck at meeting women that way, and there seems to be that expectation of it… unless you meet mid week and for some reason I think there's a possibility of doing something that weekend if it had come up in conversation.

If I get a number through a web site or if a friend says ‘Jenny was asking me about you' then I will probably call the next day. There's a definite green light here, and I think waiting won't help build suspense. The atmosphere is different; it is about capitalizing on opportunity and keeping the momentum going.

3. Do  women use the ‘3 day wait rule' if they are making the first call?

I'm just curious here. I don't think women make the first call too often, I don't think it has ever happened to me. So if you a woman making the first call, fill us in on your mindset.
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A tip for the other guys out there – before you call, lead in with a text message. The rule in question was created long before cell phones, and there's no reason not to get with the times here. It is a great way to take the pressure off if you're nervous.

Aside from easing the wait time, you get to subtly find out if there's still interest – or even if the number is real before a potentially awkward phone call. Let's face it, no one wants to call a number for the first time and get a stranger, a business or (worst) a funny number like the herpes hotline or the like.

Keep it short and simple – ‘I used that joke you told me today'… ‘I tried that lunch spot you recommended' – whatever it is, make sure it is something germane to the conversation, and something open ended enough to get a quick reply from. Whatever you do don't send something like ‘Still interested?; it sounds desperate. Or ‘Hey Sexxxy'; it sounds creepy.

If i get no reply I probably won't don't bother with a call. A reply means call soon, and it is way easier to be confident about it.

Hate mail? Stalkers? Comments? Post 'em all now!

-The Pete

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