There is a popular saying in the dating community: “You can’t help who you are attracted to”. This means you can have a type or perception of what you like but attraction is much deeper. Attraction starts from the inside on a chemical and hormonal level. It seems to be hardwired in our systems on what attracts humans to other humans. One of these things is Confidence.
Evolution and Confidence
From an evolutionary standpoint, confidence shows dominance. Dominance has always been a trait in mammals that leads to attraction. Why is that?
It comes down to security and survival. We are more complex than that of other mammals or humans centuries ago but that doesn’t mean it isn’t in our system. It’s on a deeper level; it’s subconscious. Humans and other mammals need security. Subconsciously, we needed to know that will are taken care of and will be suited for when hard times come around (if it’s money, a cold winter, or food on the table) and confidence shows that you have things under control. By being confident, you give off the vibe that you got your life together and people want to be part of that for security reasons. Because of this, people are chemically and hormonally attracted to you.
Body Language and Confidence
A statistic once revealed that only 4 percent of our communication is verbal. The other 96 percent is tone of voice, non-verbal commands, posture, how you present yourself (style), and so on. If you want to convey confidence you have to display confidence. Here are the top ways to look and convey confidence:
- Hold your head up and stick chest out
- Keep your back straight
- Walk slower
- Wear fitted clothes
- If you’re a guy, lower your voice. If you’re a girl, raise it very slightly
- Be an animated talker (move your hands around when talking)
- Take up space when sitting down
Practice these and over time they will become second nature and you will not only look confident but also feel confident. People will be aware of your movements and start to be attracted towards you.
The alpha male/alpha female
The “alpha” is usually meant as the highest rank or leader. The alpha in the animal kingdom is the one who gets all the men/women. To get to this status you must have dominance. You shouldn’t care what others do or think because you’re at the highest rank. Not saying you should be cocky but you should have a powerful mindset where things don’t bother you. That is the key to being confident. Just like I mentioned before, you have to act like you’re powerful, successful, and got your life together. That attracts people because that is what they want also.
Logan Mathis is the writer for the self-help site selfblend. He is an English graduate and currently lives in southern Illinois