Sometimes there is no compromise

Lately I have come across many couples in the same predicament. One person wants to get married, the other one doesn't. This seems to be a running theme. No one ever seems to be “ready” at the same time, and there are many more people these days that don't believe in marriage at all. This poses a dilemma.

It is a common consensus that compromise is the basis of any relationship. Both sides have to give a little in order to make it work. But every once in a while, you come to major sticking points that there is no compromise on: marriage and kids come to mind first. You can't have half a child or wear half a ring. It is an all or nothing proposition.

Unfortunately, this all too often means that one person has to give up what they want out of life in order to stay with the person that they feel is “the one”. In the case of marriage, this is almost always the person that wants to get married that has to give in. It has come to be expected that they can give up their moral values and forget about wanting marriage, or they may have to wait much longer than they would like for the other person to be “ready”.

But the real question is this: should one person have to give in? If you want different things out of life, does it mean you are not right for each other? And, if one person does give in, will it only be a temporary “fix” on the relationship? How long will it take for bitterness and resentment to build, since they had to compromise the person that they are? What is the solution to this dilemma that seems to affect so many? Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be one answer. Every relationship is different. And some people are willing to give up everything to be with the person that they love. But it is a decision that you cannot take lightly. Because in the end, you have to live with the person you have become.