Asked her out – check
Wooed her with a classy date – check
What’s next?
The second that she leaves your date her mental gears start whirring.
“Does he like me?”, “Is he thinking about me?”, “What did he think of our date?”.
When’s the right time for you to reconnect with her?
Here’s when urban myths start setting in. A popular myth is known as The 3 Day Rule which became a part of the “Bro Code,” or “the dating man’s rulebook”, on the hit show How I Met Your Mother. According to the rule, a man is not supposed to call a woman back after a date for 3 days.
I get the basic logic. You don’t want to seem desperate, so definitely not immediately after you say goodbye, and you don’t want to miss out so sometime within that week.
What if I told you that women despise The 3 Day Rule?
We at Sparkology, an exclusive dating site for young professionals, ran a poll of all our female members and over 90% of them said that they would love to hear back from a guy by the end of the next day.
That’s right, ONE DAY.
I see following up after a date as a crucial way to validate an evening of mutual chemistry. Mature women want to be pursued by confident and respectful men. In other words, calling her within one day shows that you are interested in her, that you are secure about your feelings and that you are good at communicating those feelings. (A triple whammy on her checklist!) Women don’t see your being straightforward as a plea of desperation, they see it as a sign of transparency and consistency. If she is interested in you then she definitely wants to hear back from you, ASAP!
Once you stop playing games that might have provided entertainment value back in college, like The 3 Day Rule, then you’ll be en route to having real, fulfilling and gratifying relationships.
Ladies love real men. Real men break the rules. Break the 3 Day Rule to get the girl!
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Even more important, we want to hear back in a few days if you *aren’t* interested. A simple note of, “I enjoyed our evening but I don’t think we make a great match. I wish you luck in your search,” is enough to get us to stop stressing. And send us that message after the first date or the third date, but don’t just fall off the radar.
I find this interesting, because it’s a mixed bag. I mostly do “the fade.” But there are times when I’ve said “sorry, I’m not interested” and got totally burned for it each time. The last time I did that I was called a sociopath, so there’s that.