Let’s just get to it. Fellas, it’s kinda easy to get laid. As long as you have your sh** together, it’s generally not hard to have sex with women. You may not get to sleep with that “10” at the bar you saw last night, but, you should still be able to make some connections and in your life…
As hard as it is to believe, not every guy is getting “it.” That’s concerning to me. If you are a hardworking, stable man, and your sex life is lacking, there may be several reasons why. Below are a few items to think about and, ultimately, to work on if you haven’t had sex recently… like at any time in the calendar year.
1. Your Personality
We’re all (hopefully) adult men here, so I can be blunt. Men, if you are an asshole, you won’t win. Well, if you are an asshole and nothing else. Assholes who are rich will have sex. Assholes who are funny will have sex. Assholes who are handsome will have sex. Assholes who are … just assholes will not have sex. Anytime soon.
Women don’t like guys who are creepy jerks. Not to stereotype, but dudes who are mean tend to make women feel uncomfortable. And uncomfortable means no nookie for you. Ever. The moral of this lesson is not to be a “good” guy, but a sane guy. One of the basics of hooking up is to be approachable to women. Not to scare the s**t out of them.
2. Your Mouth
This is the close cousin of the Personality item. Menfolk, you just can’t say anything to women. Well, you can, but you probably won’t get lucky until the Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl. A guy can say things that are edgy, witty, or risqué to women, and not make things weird. Usually, that’s called flirting. A guy can’t say things that are vile or cruel and hope to be seen as attractive to women. We all know that one guy who can’t stop saying inappropriate stuff in social situations, and he almost never gets laid. He never gets phone numbers. Word of advice, dudes, try not to get your Archie Bunker on around the honeys.
3. Your Grooming
You’d be surprised at how many men neglect to take care of themselves. Not only health-wise but even from a cosmetic standpoint. If you haven’t noticed, American men are living in a kind of renaissance period when it comes to beauty. More than ever, men are joining gyms and going to spas to look their best. This is the era of the Beautiful Man, and if you’ve been having some difficulty getting some action, this could be a huge reason why. Your grooming game might be weak.
Women these days not only prefer that the men they may date be well groomed, some women demand it. Especially in the bigger American cities. The point is, if a woman has to shave “down there.” then she expects a man to manscape.
When I mention grooming, what I mean is:
Shaving: Not just your face. Consider your nose hairs, your chest (the ’70s are over), and if you have thinning hair, your head.
Mouth Care: Brushing your teeth and using mouthwash.
Exercise: Toning up your body and watching your weight.
Smells: Using the right amount and kind of cologne, aftershave, and deodorant.
If you don’t believe what I’m writing, and you think I’m full of s**t, just ask a woman. They will tell you the same thing I am. The well-groomed guy pretty much always wins, while Mr. Shower When I Feel Like It nearly always goes home from the party by himself.
If I had to keep it “hood,” wash your funky balls, homeboy. Wash your balls.
4. Your Lack Of Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is huge when it comes to male-female interaction. It could be the difference between getting a phone number and an address. It can change a typical sexual encounter into a threesome. Self-confidence is major.
I can’t tell you how to find self-confidence since it’s called SELF-confidence. The only thing I can pass on to you is: search for something about you that’s special. If you are really smart, show off that big brain. If you are naturally funny, laugh your way right into a woman’s bedroom. You can find whatever makes you unique, and ride the s**t out of that.
Finding self-confidence is a journey, so, for this item, you are for the most part on your own. But, I’ll tell you. Once you get your new-found confidence, rock it. Rock it often. Because ultimately, you want a woman to rock the s**t out of you.
5. Your Lack Of Sexual Skill
One of the worst things that could happen to a single man is the BDR, aka, Bad D**k Report. Fellas, you do not one of these following you around. You don’t want this in the Cloud. A BDR hangs on you like a bad credit score. Especially if you’ve had numerous BDRs.
The best way to avoid the dreaded BDR is to get better at having sex. Once again, this is a section of the list where I can only offer you surface-level advice. Everyone has and sees sex differently. The only thing I can tell you is women love it when you try your best to please them. If a man does his best to make sure the lady is pleased, then he’ll almost never get a BDR.
S**t, guys get recommendations from women when they put in the work.
What I’ve given you are tips. And these tips have been learned from years in the “field.” Those years could give me material for several articles. These items are to help anyone of you good guys out there put it all together, and start having sex. Great sex. Remember that word “great.”
I don’t want any of you getting BDRs.
Greg is a veteran editor/writer who's content has been published by The Good Men Project, Ebony/Jet Magazine, and The Dayton Daily News. He is the Editor In Chief of Doll (dollallwomenrock.blog) .