Why Onlinedating Never Truly Works

If it seems as if everyone has tried online dating, you’re not alone. According to a study done by Pew Research Center, 11% of American adults—and 38% of those who are currently “single and looking” for a partner—have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps. The general public’s attitudes towards online dating have become much more positive in recent years, and now with social networking sites playing a prominent role when it comes to navigating and assisting romantic relationships, online dating usage is at an all-time high.

To gain a little insight into what makes people tick when it comes to online dating, here are secrets to the phenomenon and why you aren’t truly picking your “perfect match.”

A professor of Women’s Health and Clinical Epidemiology at the Queen May University of London School of Medicine and Dentistry, named Khalid Khan, poured through 86 studies to find out why he wasn’t lucky in love and found out that his profile on dating sites was one of the main problems.

Users who chose screen names starting with letters toward the beginning of the alphabet got more clicks than those who used screen names that started with the last part of the alphabet. So, if your name starts with the letters, A-M, you have a great shot at being noticed. Now to the profile picture. For women who wore red, they received more attention from men then if they wore any other color. Also, if your profile picture is a group shot with friends, you have a better chance for someone to click on your profile and look through it. It’s as easy as a click here and a click there to write-up a very impressive dating profile. About 95% of what is written is exaggerated and everyone lies about salary, job, living conditions, hobbies, weight, body mass, and some even put a fake picture up, just to get people’s attention.

Also, when you post on a free site, the quality of the people you are choosing from may not be those who put relationships at a priority in their lives. You therefore are not ending up with a compatible mate. According to Dr. John G. Kappa, PhD whose book, Relationship Strategies: The E&P Attraction, we all have an equal and opposite compatible match. Everyone should be aware of characteristics that we are attracted to and also characteristics that we aren’t attracted too. This is why we may be constantly picking the completely “wrong” partner. There's also a thing called, choice overload. This is where people undermine their ability to make a good, well thought out decision due to having way too many options available to them. SO most likely you will end up “thinking” that you chose the “correct” partner, when in fact you picked the wrong one.

To date, therefore, it's all about a guessing game. If people claim that their scientific algorithms work, why do you need to spend 9 -12 months to find someone with whom you should totally click with right away? Finding a partner is not like finding a new car or a new pair of jeans. You can’t simply wake up one morning, say to yourself, “I need a husband or wife,” and then look through thousands of models until you find the right one. Love doesn't work this way.

Another secret to online dating that most people aren't getting is the fact that if you already have NOT been successful with women or men, outside the internet, what makes you believe that you will be successful because you are using a popular dating site? New research indicates that internet dating websites offer several benefits to singles seeking companionship, but generally do not improve the odds of finding a lifelong partner or a healthy long-term relationship.

Remember, they call it falling in love because you just fall, you don't force yourself to trip.

Author Profile

Stephanie Sweet Aka Stephanie Dolce

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Stephanie’s sassy, raw, controversial, and to the point writing has captured the minds, hearts and even souls of millions worldwide. in 2013, she started to write for a local newspaper and then she has taken off, writing for many websites as well as doing PR for some companies. Stephanie has written for Rant Dating, The Richest and The Talko.

She also does some PR for companies via social media. She is also a Pre-K teacher as well as the asst. director of a youth basketball league.

Her best selling book, "Hello Love, Where's Cupid? 2nd ed" was just released on Barnes and Noble.com and her upcoming novel, "Untouched" will be released later this year.