Popular Search Terms Answered, August 2021

It's been a while since I've done one of these. Periodically, I would take a look at our search data and review the most popular search terms used that led people here, to the Urban Dater.

What I'll do here is take the term and answer it as though it were a reader's question. Mmkay? Without further ado, let's see what it was that led people to the Urban Dater last month!

Things never to give a girl you've just met

Oh, dear. There are a lot of things you don't want to give to a girl you just met! I can think of a few off the top of my head:

  • Don't give the woman you just met an STI. Make sure you get tested, if you're sexually active.
  • Don't give the woman you just met your bullshit. She doesn't have time for that!

Best words to say to your ex

Well, I've been thinking about this one a lot of late. In short, the best thing to say to your ex is nothing. Go no contact. Completely. You're not doing yourself any favors by holding on to your ex's story and, certainly, you're not doing your ex any favors by checking in on them or pinging them or whatever the fuck. You have to let go.

Closure is difficult, moving on is difficult but you owe it to yourself to give yourself that space to move through whatever you're dealing with. Go no contact, process, begin moving through whatever you're feeling.

Dirty breakfast talk

I'm not sure how to answer this as a question but I'ma give it a shot! If you and your partner are cohabiting or staying over at one another's pad then this isn't that difficult.

Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech on Unsplash

Sometimes the dirtiest breakfast talk you can have with a partner is none at all. That is, wake your partner up with something pleasant. I can remember several instances where I've given pleasure to a sleeping beau or had my face straddled as I was prying myself into an awakened state! Hooray for fellatio and struggle play!

Sometimes you and your lover aren't in the same place. Sometimes you just need to let your partner know that you're thinking about them—or better yet, what you want to do to them!

Send your partner a sext in the morning, be detailed, don't be shy. Tell them how you want them, how they make you feel, what you're going to do to them when you see them and how you want to do it. The details matter, friends. So don't skimp.

What to say to a girl you just met

Hi normally does the trick. Context matters, though, and you always have to play it by feel. Where did you meet this person? At the store, at work? How did the exchange go?

Another thing to consider is that, as a general rule, it's not okay to be hitting on women at random. They're just trying to get through the day, live their lives, and not have to worry about being chased or pursued by everybody who's looking to smash. So maybe hold up on approaching or trying to pick up on a random woman.

What is okay is to make conversation, if it happens organically. If a woman has her earbuds in don't be that guy who interrupts her, asking her to take off her earbuds so you can get some words in. Not cool.

Respect her space. If she looks busy, preoccupied then leave her alone. She's got other things to do more important than whatever it is you have to say.

Don't try to pick up on her. Don't pick a pick-up artist. That guy sucks. Unless you have the ultimate one-liner for that moment in time (you probably don't), then go shoot your shot.

Be yourself, have no agenda. I met a gal in Tokyo a couple of years back who I spent one amazing night together. No, it wasn't romantic or anything sexual we just had so much fun and great conversation. True enough, we matched on a dating app, got to chatting and agreed to meet up but under the pretense that it wasn't a date. The conversation flowed, we had things to share that interested one another, humor goes a long way, too.

How to get a girl to text you back

Friends, let it go. People tell you who they are through what they do and not what they say. If you met someone, you message them and you don't hear from them ever, or they are laggy (twelve hours or more between replies) then they aren't prioritizing you. That's okay. Cut it loose.

Understanding that people make time for those things that are important to them, for me, was a game-changer. I stopped chasing those who obviously didn't want to make time to send a text.

Stop trying to get women to text you back! It's never going to work!!

Author profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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