Recently, a woman I had dated a few times and with whom I had a nightly phone call where we talked about a wide variety of subjects from politics to movies, called in tears because she had finally received the last nail in the coffin of her relationship (or maybe it wasn’t so former) with a recent former boyfriend.
I don’t know about you but a potential girlfriend calling a potential boyfriend to discuss how hurt she was with the recent boyfriend was probably not a subject any potential boyfriend wanted to hear about, LOL! This came on the heels of her telling me she had baked cookies for the neighbors and given a hug to a male neighbor she knew who “just needed one.” Nice, but since we began dating she’s demanded we keep the six foot distance because of Covid, never once invited me over (even if I kept my social distance) certainly never even hugged me. I guess I know where I stand there!
I later wrote a short email to her, telling her that while I wanted to be a good friend, it probably wasn’t the best subject for a new boyfriend to hear about.
She replied I had an over reactive mind and then said she would email me more the next day. I, of course, wondered if it was important enough for me to write to her about my feelings (after all ladies, aren’t you always complaining we men never discuss our feelings) you would think she would have made a response a bit of a priority. Telling me she didn’t have the time (she’s retired and in lockdown) was like holding a sign saying, Not Important. Of course, since she was still online perhaps she was too busy seeking out more potential prospects, LOL. A female friend of mine wondered aloud why she didn’t simply pick up the phone and call and then said, “sorry, but it’s obvious she’s not into you.” Ya think? And women wonder why the nice guys simply throw up their hands and walk away.
Another woman I dated has her older kids living with her. The only time she could talk is when they weren’t there (weekends) and once in a while for a few moments when they slipped out to take a walk. So, I wound up with a once a week date for a few hours on a Saturday night. And she asked me why I didn’t take the relationship seriously? Really?
What I am saying, rather inarticulately ladies, is that there are some really nice guys out here who desire romance, sunsets and cuddles. But…the truly nice guys who aren’t trying to seduce you every minute also need to be treated like, well, the way we treat you! Men are pretty much uncomplicated. We like it straight-forward and without the head games. And yes, we need to feel like we are important and more importantly, treated that way! Or, we are very likely to throw up our hands, say goodbye and walk away because for many of us, it’s simply not worth the hassle. Many men, especially we older ones, would rather simply endure the loneliness of isolation than the endless turntable of online dating that in the end, makes one want to pull out what little hair they have left.