Don’t Know How To Get Started in Online Dating? Here’re Some Top Message Tips and Examples

These days, you’d be hard pushed to find someone under 40 who hasn’t used a dating website or app at some point in their lives. In the digital age, where many aspects of our lives are moving online, it was inevitable that dating would eventually end up in the online sphere, too. Online dating comes with its difficulties, though: how do you open the conversation? How do you ask someone on a date in the real world? Here are 6 tips and examples of how to get the most out of online dating.

Make it interesting

Unlike in real life, it’s very easy to just ignore someone online if they don’t interest you from the get-go. With so many people messaging each other, you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Say ‘hi’ with a twist, mix up your messaging style – why not even use a writing tool to really impress them? Tools such as StateofWriting and Academized can really take your writing up a notch, helping you create messages that are different and well put together.

Example: Bonjourno! I’m Tom. How’s it going?

Tailor your content

We all, deep down, believe we are unique. Don’t send out blanket messages to people with no personal detail in there – engage with their pictures, their bio, ask questions to show that you have been paying attention, and you will find that your interactions become much more successful and effective!

Example: I see from your picture that you’ve been to Paris, what was it like? I’ve always wanted to go!

Keep it light

Don’t get all heavy and tell people your life story when you’ve only been speaking to someone for a short while. Be upbeat, funny, and keep the conversational enjoyable for both of you. The better the interaction, the more likely it is to become a real-life date.

Example: You had me hooked as soon as you mentioned pizza.

Be a mirror

This can be a tricky one for some people, even face-to-face. “Try and give as much as they give, in terms of message length and tone, and don’t dominate the conversation too much, as it is annoying as it is in real life! Make sure you are asking questions, leaving room for a good amount of back-and-forth”, – says Evelyn Nelson, a Personal Development writer at Essayroo.

Example: Where did you go to university? What did you study?

Don’t be shallow!

Telling someone how gorgeous and sexy they are gets old – fast. Women especially hate being complimented too much online, as it makes them wary about the motive of the other person, and undoubtedly men feel the same way. If you’re already talking online, then obvious there is some physical attraction there; you don’t need to labor the point by repeating how attractive they are! That said, flirting is more than fine. Using flirty words that are not necessarily related to appearance is always a good way to go.

Example: It’s great that we both love to travel! How about we compare photos over a drink sometime?

Bring it into the real world

Online dating is quite pointless if it doesn’t progress into in real life date. It can be tricky to know when to suggest a date: too soon, and they might run away; too late, they might have become bored. “It is always risky, but your gut knows whether your chemistry is good enough to translate into the real world. Try and make it as seamless as possible, suggesting something that you have already discussed as a possible date idea”, – explains Carlos Richardson, a Personal Coach at Boomessays and Ukwritings.

Example: So, you know how much we both love Mexican food? There’s a new street food place just opened that do the best burritos. How about we go sometime next week?

The online dating world does not need to be daunting. It is a great, easy way to meet interesting people from all different walks of life, who you would not necessarily encounter any other way. Of course, there will always people who don’t reply, for whatever reason, but don’t take it personally. The brilliant thing about online dating is that there are thousands of other people at your fingertips, and they might well just be the one for you!

Author Profile

Freddie Tubbs is a psychology writer at Academized. He enjoys attending communications and psychology events, and writing columns for Australian help and Paper Fellows blogs.

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  1. Great points, Freddie! I feel your last point, “Bringing It Into The Real World,” is a topic that’s least discussed when talking about creating online dating profiles, and I’m glad you raised it.

    When I was getting positive responses from women on several years ago, I had no clue how to convert those to an actual date! Initially, it became really depressing for me, because the positive anxiety I was going through caused me to say all the wrong things in my last exchanges with these women. Having a great banter with her online is one thing, but getting a girl excited to meet you and actually meeting her in person is an entirely different animal!

    Like Freddie says, just do the thing you know she already loves doing (i.e. getting Mexican food) for your first date! It’s right there in her profile and you probably have already messaged her about it. She’s already in, so go have fun!

  2. Hi Freddie! Good to see the tips but many times I feel that these will definitely work in case of freshers. Can you discuss how to get know while online dating/chatting that the person is serious or fake.

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