Maybe you’ve been experiencing a dating drought. Or perhaps you’re just getting back in the dating game after a long term relationship. Sometimes it’s tough to figure out how to start.
Start by looking around. It sounds silly, but people are always saying, “There are no good men in this city.” (And it doesn’t matter what city you live in, people are saying it.) And that is NOT true. There are good men everywhere. At the drugstore, farmer’s market, dog park, beach, local sporting event, coffee shop – wherever–there are good men there. They may not look like underwear models or whatever version of perfect you’ve envisioned, but good, smart, considerate, funny guys do exist.
You just have to look up from your phone long enough to notice them.
You laugh, but think about it. Do you chat with your BFF as you select granola at the market? Do you tweet as you wait for your morning coffee? Do you update your Facebook status as you walk your dog?
If so, chances are, you’re walking by potential partners everywhere you go. So, rule number one is put the phone away and look around.
As you look around, when you see someone you find attractive, get caught looking. Brazen, we know, but if he doesn’t know you’re interested, how is he going to get the idea to approach you? So when your eyes meet, be brave and smile.
Did you just think, “What if he doesn’t smile back?” Good question. First, the chances of that are slim. Nine out of 10 times, if you smile at someone or say, “Hi,” they will mirror you. It’s a natural reflex. So, the chances for a negative response are low. But, back to the question – what if he doesn’t smile back? Then you know he’s not the guy for you and you move on. After all, do you want to date a guy who’s not friendly?
Once you get the smile, you have a great opportunity to say, “Hi,” and ask a question. If you’re at the farmer’s market, ask, “Do you know if these carrots are organic?” If you’re at the coffee shop, say, “I don’t speak Starbucks. What do they call the biggest cup?” If you’re at the dog park, say, “Your dog is so cute! Is he a mix?”
If you have trouble coming up with a quick question, give a compliment. Everyone loves to be complimented. Say, “That shirt is a gorgeous color,” “I love your watch,” or “Nice shoes!” A compliment will make the object of your eye feel good and give them an opening to continue talking with you.
When you follow these simple steps, you not only connect with potential dates, you get in the habit of being friendly and outgoing. As you continue to engage with people, you’ll gain confidence. And confidence is sexy.
What are some other things you do to connect with people as you go about your daily routine?
Suzanne Casamento is the CEO of Fantasydatinggame.com. She developed Fantasy Dating after getting tired of hearing her gifriends whine about their non-existent love lives. Since then, they have all dared to date.