“How Can I Tell if She Wants Me to Talk to Her?”: 7 Tips for Introverts

If you’ve ever been in a social situation with a woman you’re interested in, you’ve likely wondered, “How can I tell if she wants me to talk to her?” Putting yourself out there and striking up a conversation with a woman can understandably be a bit nerve-racking, and sometimes it can feel challenging to read body language signals. Happily, if you understand some of these proven tips, you’re much more likely to have success with engaging in a meaningful conversation with a woman.

Here are some surefire ways to tell if she wants you to talk to her:

1. She makes consistent eye contact with you

Eye contact is a good indicator of whether she is interested or not. Do you notice her looking at you? Does she hold your gaze when you catch her eye? Give her a kind smile and see if she offers one back. If she does, you can feel confident to go over and talk to her!

2. She maintains open body language

Just like eye contact, body language is essential in deciphering if she’s open to conversation. Smiling, seeming relaxed (for example, her arms aren’t crossed, and she doesn’t appear unhappy), and facing the person she is speaking with are sound cues that she is inviting others around her to talk to her as well.

3. She makes small talk with you

Have you ever struck up a conversation with someone you don’t want to talk to? The answer is likely no. However, women who want to get your attention will sometimes find a way to start small talk by complimenting the color of your scarf, asking if you have a book recommendation, or commenting on the weather. Use this opportunity to continue the conversation by sharing something nice you notice about her or by asking a follow-up question.

4. She compliments you

As in the scarf example above, women can show their interest by offering a compliment. Perhaps she compliments what you’re wearing or your hairstyle. Be sure to provide her with a genuine compliment, too! She will appreciate the reciprocation, and it will put a smile on her face.

5. She follows you on social media

Maybe you met a woman out at a local art gallery or through mutual friends. If she follows you on social media after you’ve met (bonus points if she does this within hours of meeting you!), send her a funny meme or “like” one of her photos to confirm your interest!

6. She asks your friends about you

There is nothing more flattering than hearing a woman is interested in you from one of your buddies. Seize the opportunity and ask your friend for her contact information so that you can initiate a conversation! Have fun getting to know her, and consider planning a double date with your mutual friends.

7. She’s not surrounded by her friends

Sometimes, women like to have “girls’ nights” where they go out as a group and mingle amongst themselves with no plans to meet any men. Other times, women go out in smaller groups and seem open to conversing with men. Notice if she separates herself from her friends when you’re around—this is an excellent opportunity to strike up a conversation with her.

Final thoughts on how to know if she wants you to talk to her

Today, we covered subtle cues like making eye contact or having open body language. We also went over a more direct approach, like complimenting you or following you on social media.

Now that you know what signs to look for, you will feel much more comfortable approaching a woman and engaging her in conversation. Enjoy getting to know her as you discover where it will lead.

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