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Dating Tips & Quips.

Shamefully I admit that I was fascinated by the VH1 show “The Pick Up Artist”. Basically some guys who have good game teach several nerdy, socially handicapped guys how to pick up chicks. The show got me thinking that I actually do have a small arsenal of knowledge that helped me to get a lot of dates over the years. I live in Newport Beach but I am definitely not the typical manufactured blonde, fake boobied , size 0, starving model that is native to the region. At first glance I know that I am not what most men are looking for in Orange County. Regardless, I have been able to get dates with all kinds of attractive men over the years. So here are a few tips for you (guys and girls) that might be useful (or might be annoying depending on how you use them).


This is my thing-I always use it when I go out. It’s a great way to open up communication with someone you first meet and to show others that you have a sense of humor. It’s also a good way to find out if there is any interest as well…because if someone is interested in you they will usually keep the conversation going after your joke. At the most, you will get a lot of laughs and people will feel relaxed and happy around you. At the least, you bomb and then ask someone if they have a better joke (because people love to be the center of attention). I always ask people to tell me their jokes -usually I approach saying “hi does anyone have any good jokes that I can add to my collection?” I listen to theirs and then I tell my own. *If you are a guy- DO NOT tell dirty jokes to girls (it’s a turn off). We prefer cheesy to dirty.

A few of my favorite cheesy jokes:

Why does Snoop Dog carry an Umbrella? For Drizzle.
Where do you find Virgin Wool? Ugly Sheep.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where’s my tractor?
A Pirate walks into a bar with the steering wheel of his ship in his pants. The bartender asks” why in the world do you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies “Aaaaargh, its drivin me nuts!”


This is a given, but I think a lot of people don’t understand what their “best” is. So be brave and ask your friends to tell you what they think about your appearance (suck it up, it will be good for you). I just don’t understand why there are still guys walking around with comb- overs, skinny jeans, bad breath and bad fashion sense. Go ahead-try new things with your appearance to see what makes you look your best!
A few ideas:
Guys-grow your facial hair out or shave it off. Start working out. Take a girl friend (or a guy friend that has good taste) with you shopping if you want to improve your wardrobe. If you are losing your hair shave it off (bald is beautiful).
Girls-cut your hair or change the color, try wearing dresses more often (all men love dresses), wear contacts instead of glasses (or vice versa), invest in some good quality makeup and learn how to use it to play up your best features.


Me, me, me, me, me, me, me! This is all I hear if I am forced to sit across from a man and nod as he drones on about himself for more than 15 minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I want to learn about other people, but a conversation involves two people talking-not just one. I met a man online once and when we finally spoke on the phone our conversation lasted a little over an hour….and about 59 minutes of that conversation was just of him talking about himself. Needless to say that was the last time I ever spoke to him. Its true-people love to talk about them selves! So learn to be a good listener. Women especially love to talk and they love for you to ask them questions because it shows that you are truly interested in who they are. So Men, talk less, listen more (oh and try to be funny when you do talk). Ladies, the same goes for you too.

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