Today, we have a guest contribution from Norman Joshua, who can be found at justmealone.com.
What does intimacy mean to you
Intimacy is a feeling or atmosphere of closeness and openness towards someone else, in most cases not necessarily involving sexuality
In a relationship intimacy can be physical or emotional, this may involve sexuality, Intimacy could also be non sexual, this kind involves the family, friends or acquaintances.
Intimacy comes from the heart and it is built over a long period of time. As you learn more and more about someone or your lover the closer you get to know him or her strength and weaknesses, you'll feel safe enough to belief and rely on them.
Little things can trigger the process that leads to intimacy such as hugs, a kiss or a simple compliment.
For it to be true in a relationship, it must always and always involve two heart, two individuals who share feelings of trust, emotions, physical contact and love.
What does intimacy involve
Intimacy has a lot to do with feelings of trust, good emotions, physical contact, love and sex.
TRUST is defined as to have confidence faith/believe, hope in someone or something. Trust is believing in something seen or unseen.
For example when a doctor tells you that your heart beat is good, you feel happy because you have confidence that as long as you are alive and maintain a good health your heart will beat fine even if you do not hear your heart beat or see it physically.
Trust is having strong conviction and believe, In a relationship trust is a key to intimacy.
Think for a moment: Do you get worried every moment you are away from your partner, do you have peace of mind?
Every time your partner receives a text, are you always concerned about who is texting or who is sending him a message?
Do you worry to0 much about who he goes out with and who he talks to?
Without trust in a relationship your life will be miserable, intimacy wont grow and it will be very difficult for the relationship to strive.
Trust is the confidence, believe and hope you have in your partner that he or she will always and always remain loyal to you and love you no matter where you are or the way you are.
EMOTIONS: What is it?: it is a feeling such as happiness, love, fear, anger or hatred which can be caused by the situation that you are in or the people you are with.
All emotions, good or bad helps us in decision making.
How can gaining control over your emotion help you have an intimate relationship?
First recognizing when your emotion is unstable and out of control
You can recognize this by observing reactions like faster heart beats, tensed muscles or shallow breathing
Rather than reacting to anything at the moment, its best to focus on controlling each reaction, for example: if your having a faster heat beat, rapid or shallow breathing focus on breathing deeply to calm yourself.
When you are done with that, move to the next reaction, for example: if your body is tensed, Relax your muscles to relive yourself of physical tension. Use the technique to relax your muscles.
- Unclench your hand
- Relax your shoulders
- Create space to free your legs and let the tension out
- Roll your neck and shake it out of your fingers
Releasing physical tension can go a long way in steadying your mind and heart.
Second Understand your emotions
Learning to pinpoint the main cause of your emotional upset can give you control over it.
Ask yourself this questions
- What action did i make that causing me so much stress?
- Does my partner understand the way i feel?
- What other option could i had considered?
- Will i be proud of my decision after today?
Remember emotions help us pass through any situation and aids our decision making
All emotions whether good or bad can help us in different situation
No emotion is “wrong” understand your emotion and do not judge yourself for it
Hiding your emotion will not make it go away, Give yourself time to understand it, You can do this but taking a walk or relaxing.
Third When ever you have issues with your partner face the root of your emotional turmoil. Try to settle down
with your partner then discuss the problem, talk about how it can be avoided and what steps each partner should take.
Remember to record your progress, writing about your emotions and how you and your partner are making progress or improving can help you learn to identify your feelings and boost the intimacy in your relationship.
After recognizing and understanding your emotions replace negative thought with positive ones, it is always good if you are struggling with negative emotions to write down 1-5 positive things that has happen in your day to day life
If trying your best do not work, seek professional help. In the about us page get our email and write to use privately stating in details what you are going through, the steps you've already taken and the suituation of things at the moment
It is important to control your emotions, suppressing or hiding them can cause you physical disorder and more emotional stress
READ ALSO: How To Control Your Mind
Physical contact is also important in intimacy
A good way to grow intimacy in a relationship is through physical contact. Light touching perhaps just holding hands can go a long way.
As each day passes by, Be interested in getting to know more and more about your partner by asking questions respectfully.
Hug each other often, this will show you are happy to see each other, Look at each others eye to eye more often. Sit next to him or her when having a discussion and gently allow each other shoulder touch from time to time.
When ever your partner initiates a physical contact, Touch him or her back. When you sit together a great place to touch is your partners knee
While you work on th road place your arms around her shoulder, if she pulls closer that is a good sign that shes into you.
Depending on where you are and your surrounding tickle her gently, if she laughs excessively that a good sign, it is good to remember to know when to stop and how much tickle is adequate at that time
The quality called Love is the power house of intimacy, without love there is no true intimacy
Displaying Love is different from any other quality to be displayed in a relationship, the reason is clear you have to show it in a way and manner your partner will understand
One way you can show this could through gift. Try to understand the way your lover feels when he or she is loved. This will help you express love in a way that he or she will appreciate.
Be the provider of
- Words of compliment
- Act of Service
- Quality time
- Physical contact
How to build intimacy in a relationship
It is very easy to forget about the important things that helps a reltionship have intimacy, when your partner notices this he or she may likely look at you differently when you do not take time to display this important things.
Building intimacy in a relationship takes time and will require patience from both partners, the harder you put in effort in your relationship the more likely to will succeed in having intimacy in your relationship
Always remember that to create a bond between you and your partner you have to be vulnerable and completely yourself, the risk will be worth the reward
- Complimenting your partner in public and in private is important in building intimacy
- Create happy moment to laugh about things that interest you both
- Forgive freely
- Be curious: Invest your time and energy in learning about your partner, be concerned about how he or she is feeling and what you can do to boost their happiness more and more.
- Be brave
- Spice thing up sexually
- Show gratitude
- Find moment to initiate physical contact
- Be a good Listener
- Accept the high and lows in your
READ MORE: JUST ME ALONE