How to Tell Someone You’re Not Looking for a Relationship

As much as you like someone, a committed romantic relationship may not be what you want right now. However, that’s totally okay. Maybe you’re focusing on other things right now, like you want to dedicate more time to your career, look for other potential partners, or you’re just not in the mood for a long-term relationship. But, back to the situation at hand, you’ve found yourself in a place where you have to mentally prepare yourself and inform that person that you don’t want anything long-term because you’re just not ready. Now, the question is how to do it without trampling on their feelings?

Avoid saying, “let's stay in touch.”

Let’s be realistic; you won’t stay friends because it’s simply impossible. The other person in this situation will always look at you as more of a romantic partner than a friend. It will be much easier for both of you if you two go your separate ways. When you have already gathered strength and said that you don’t want anything serious, be honest and skip the friendship with that person. It will be much easier, trust us.

The simplest thing would be to tell them clearly and concisely that you don't want them to misunderstand your socializing, but you're just not interested in anything more with them. You can mention that you enjoyed the time you spent together or don't want them to get angry now. Don't say some of the clichés ‘it's not you, it's me.’ Keep it short, simple, and clear.

Express that you’re flattered but not interested

Whether you’re interested in that person or not, consider all the time and energy that this other person is spending on thinking of you and wanting something more with you. You, yes you, out of so many people in the world, you are the target, like it or not. You should feel flattered. At least some kindness or a nice word from you is needed to avoid unnecessary inconveniences in such situations.

Pause for a beat before you say no

Just imagine how you would feel if someone without a shred of emotion told you they didn’t want anything to do with you, without any introduction or warning before such a harsh and disappointing sentence. Surely to make you feel like Alice in Wonderland, your imagination allowed you to search and imagine something more, but you got a cold and short disappointing answer.

For this reason, show that you’re an adult and that you care about other people's feelings. Show a little emotion and don’t rush immediately with conclusions and words that no one likes. Basically, don’t just blurt out NO!

You can also lie a little

You can also lie a little. If it is easier for you, you can always say that you’re not ready for a relationship, that you’re in love with someone else, or that you’re still suffering from an ex. We don't approve of lies, but white lies are okay sometimes, especially in situations like this when you don't care about someone and want to get out of an awkward situation.

Avoid “ghosting”

Ghosting is probably the worst way to reject some people. We will agree that such a way of disappearing and ignoring only shows your immaturity and lack of interest in facing reality and truth. Please don’t be ghosts. Be the person who handles everything wisely, maturely, and with a friendly face.

When to use text and when to use face to face?

This all depends on whether it’s the first meeting or not. If you have been with this person only once, then a polite and sincere text is ok. For example, you could send them a message like this; “I feel very flattered, but I’m just not interested.” On the other hand, if it has been long-term socializing, say more than 3 times of seeing one another, then we suggest that you be an adult and apply the tips we have given above with a face-to-face confrontation.

Listen to your heart

Relationships require time, effort, and constant commitment. Sometimes we’re not ready for such a big step in life, especially if we don’t know what’s happening to ourselves. The chances are that when you meet the right person, you will be ready for such a big step. However, until then, there's nothing wrong with putting your needs first. Although you should be as honest as possible with a potential person courting you, you don't have to justify why you don't want to be in a relationship. Sometimes it's just a feeling or attitude you may have instead of some special reason. Even to the infatuated person, it could be hard to accept that you’re not interested; it's a personal choice that doesn't need their approval.

Your heart knows what it wants; it's just a matter of listening. When you have a conversation about not wanting a relationship with someone who’s interested in you, it leaves them with many questions. You can answer and explain as you wish, but it’s important to keep your intentions firm and clear. Extending a partnership that has two different expectations can’t result in anything good. Be honest with yourself, with them, and the rest will fall into place properly. For relationship advice that will help you in these moments, you need to focus on yourself.

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