This entry describes a specific point in time when I went on a date from OkCupid after leaving the site due to a checkered past causing me to take a break.

The Man:


The Message:

He messaged me, and I was impressed by his resume.  In follow-up texts, I am deterred by his suggestion to meet at the same coffee shop again and again.  “Logistics be hard,” said Socrates.  “Yeah, Logistics can be a deal-breaker,” agreed Plato.

The Date:

The coffee shop also food weighed-by-the-scale and I ended up spending 15 dollars which may as well have been 20 million (I'm broke!). I bought an egg-salad: commonly seen as the least sexy food on the planet.  Luckily, I am unworried about the consequences.

The dude is a good at talking, he's smart, and he is one of those people who says things that will inherently make me salivate. Those words are:



“Start Up”


Any mention of interactions with famous people.

As a young, job-hungry actor, I can feel my ears perk up.  A “casting session”, you say???  Are you looking to cast the SUPRISINGLY CHARMING AND FUNNY YOUNG LADY YOU CURRENTLY OCCUPY A TABLE WITH?  When you can smell CLOUT on boys, you are like, “Oh, fuck! I gotta roll for date #2.” I mean, I DID humbly ask the universe to supply me with someone who will bring my art to the next level, is it possible that this is the form it is being presented to me??!!?!

There's that story about a man whose house is being flooded, and his neighbors come by and say, “Come in our car, We're getting out of here! You're going to drown”.  The man says, “God will save me.” So, the neighbors drive off, the water gets higher, and a boat comes by.  “Come aboard,” says the captain.  “No,” says the man, “God will save me.”  So, the boat moves on, and the water gets higher, and the man is forced onto the roof of his house, and a helicopter flies over.  The pilot says, “I'll drop a rope; climb up!”  And the man says, “No. God will save me!”  The helicopter flies away, and the water gets higher,  and the man drowns, and when he reaches heaven, he is met by God.  “God! I thought you were going to save me!” says the man.  “I sent you a warning, a boat, and a helicopter; What more were you looking for?”

I fear I am the man in the previous story where it concerns my fame career, but then I'm like, “Isn't that just narcissism?” That guy died. In a flood. And ignored offers for help… Maybe this isn't the same thing.  But, like, maybe this IS, maybe this IS the warning or boat or helicopter?  I decide to keep that in mind.

Okc.24 bought a cookie that was barely touched while I devoured the egg salad (my egg salad brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like….that's unappealing).  It was a conversation that was good, but never lost the sense of sizing each other up for next years competition of “American’s Next Top Boring Date at Coffee Shop”  He mentions finding theatre boring, and I wonder if he find me boring.  After all, I am a TheatreGurl.

After we finished our food, we walked out together and hugged at the street corner.  Our sentiments were largely, “Good luck with your life!” making me believe that he and I were both not interested in the other. “But how could he not like ME?” I wonder.  Perhaps it was my mention of a blog: blogs scare boys, as they think you will write about them.  Unfortunately for him, the stereotype is true.  We've not spoken since the coffee-shop date.

I called a real NYC-bred boy to ask his opinion of okc.24.  The NYC boy was funny and fun to talk to.   Conversation was easy and reassuring; We likely talked for 25 minutes before I became self-conscious that I might seem to eager to continue the talk.  As I ended the call on my iPhone, I thought, “I just want to date someone who makes me LAUGH! It's so true! If a boy can make you laugh, he can make you do anything!!!!!”

Author Profile

Alex Spieth writes a Web Series called [Blank] My Life (http://www.blankmylifetheseries.com). She frequently works with Tele-Violet and Irondale Ensemble. 2013 Grad of Carnegie Mellon University.

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