Why You Should Never Talk to an Ex…Ever
Once a relationship ends, many men and women recommend that burning the bridge with an ex is the best way to finally move on and let go of the past relationship. Sometimes, even when the breakup was amicable, a lot of people endorse a no-communication and no-friendship rule with an ex. This is because scores of men and women who have been through every kind of relationship believe that maintaining a form of communication with an ex and having a certain level of friendship with your previous lover will never work for your benefit.
An ex is called an ex for a reason, particularly because you are crossing him or her out of your life. An ex is a ghost from your past life, and having constant communication with that entity is neither healthy for your ex nor you. However, if you really believe that being friends with your ex is possible, there are certain conditions you need to meet in order to keep your ex in your friendship circle.
1. You have both decided that you are better off as friends than lovers.
2. You both have moved on and are in happy and fulfilling relationships with other people.
3. You no longer have lingering romantic feelings for each other.
4. Your current boyfriends/girlfriends are okay with being friends with your ex.
If any of these conditions are not met, then it is a good idea to start accepting the fact that exes are not really meant to become good friends.
Here are more reasons you should stop communicating with your ex:
It Can Jeopardize Your Blooming Relationship with Your Current Love Interest
Staying friends with your ex or let alone communicating with them will open a way for you to start comparing your current love interest with your ex. When this happens, you will stop giving a new relationship a chance way before it starts. You say to yourself that you are strong enough to date new people, but if you are still buddies with your ex, you will end up creating a checklist of the similarities and differences of your new date with your ex, and you will become engross with that checklist instead of giving your new date a chance to prove to you that he or she is worth keeping. Give that new man or woman a chance to show you that they can be a better lover or partner than your ex.
It Creates a False Hope that He or She Might Actually Be the One
Maintaining an open line of communication with your ex is not exactly helpful for your cause of finding your one true love. Even when you know and your friends tell you that your ex is not the right person for you, keeping in touch with your ex all the time can give you a false hope that someday, the two of you will still end up together. That is sweet thinking, but that rarely happens in real life. The more you stay in touch with your ex, and the more you make him still a part of your life now that you are single, the more you will obsess over the fact that he or she may actually be that proverbial and elusive “The One” even when he or she does not clearly make the cut.
Your New Boyfriend or Girlfriend Does Not Like It
You are extremely complicating things with your new boyfriend or girlfriend if you insist on still being friends with your ex. Even when your boyfriend or girlfriend says that it is completely fine that you are still friends with your ex, the friendship you keep may give them a reason to think that you might still have a humongous pile of unresolved romantic feelings with your ex. Moreover, you can never really tell if they are okay with it since most of the time, they tell you that there is no problem with you being friends with your ex because they do not want you to see them as the paranoid and insecure new lover. Not being friends with your ex, no matter how healthy your friendship you think will be, is a form of respect to your current lover. Furthermore, before you introduce your new partner to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, you should establish a firm foundation on your new relationship before having both of your new and past lover meet each other. Insecurities and jealousy may arise when people who have been and are currently romantically involved with you meet.
Elizabeth Davis has 20 years of experience as a relationship adviser. She writes and shares more relationship tips and marriage advice on her blog Relationshipsadvice.co.
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