What Women (really) Want.

I recently read a book about unveiling the mystery of a woman’s soul and I gleaned some good dating tips in the process. Basically the book states that there are 3 things every woman’s soul longs for: to be pursued, to feel beautiful and be part of an adventure. I happen to identify with these desires and I figured I would elaborate a bit on the topic to help the men out a bit.

Chase her
In the dating world I have been pursued and have also been the pursuer. And let me tell you, as a female, being the pursuer just never quite felt natural. It felt like a lie. Pursuing a man gave me a sense of desperation mixed with self-doubt, which can never lead to a healthy relationship. Most women I have spoken to feel the same way. Since the beginning of time men have been the ones to “hunt” female, knock us on the head with their clubs and drag us back to their caves. There is something engrained in us that tells us we must allure the men to chase us…so when put in the situation of being the one doing the chasing it goes against our human nature. So men, what is going on with your hunting skills lately? Why so aloof? Why flirt but then chicken out to ask for our number? Come on, hit us on the head already! Women love to feel wanted and needed. We want to know we are worthy of being sought out. Most of the greatest movies (Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, etc) have story lines of men who will stop at nothing to get their girl. This is what we want. Chase us. Make us know you want us. And continue to pursue us after you “catch” us. Pursue who we are to the core. We want you really “know” us and love us for who we are. We want you to truly see what makes us tick. And we want you to continue to get to know us even after we have sealed the deal. So guys….tap into your instincts here. When you’re on the hunt take risks. Ask her for her number in a creative way. Slip her a note. Tell the bartender you want to buy her a drink, but don’t have him tell her who it’s from….then approach her later after she has had time to wonder a bit. Both subtle, but memorable ways to pursue. If you are already in a relationship, keep pursuing her. My father use to surprise my mom in random places by showing up unexpectedly. She would mention on the phone to him that she had to run to the store and then he would surprise her by finding her in the produce section. Simple and sweet, and very memorable. Little things like this make us feel wanted…which is what every woman needs.

Behold her Beauty
Since we were little girls, every woman desires for her father to tell her how beautiful she is. She wants to be noticed. This is why as girls, we all play dress up and as women, we love to get dolled up for a night on the town. We are all asking the question “Am I Beautiful?” and we want your response to be a resounding “YES you are exquisite!” So make your love interest feel beautiful. Tell her you notice her uniqueness. Compliment her on something (her eyes, hair, skin, etc), but genuine and make it about her (and not her outfit). Just please don’t be creepy or make it suggestive. As you get to know a woman you will also discover her inner beauty. Don’t forget to let her know that you think she beautiful on the inside too.

Adventureland
All women have a sense of adventure. We love excitement and thrill just as much as you do! It is also scientifically proven that if you share an experience where your adrenaline levels are raised this leads you to find the person you are with more attractive. So give her a thrill! Do something slightly daring on a first date. Take her somewhere unexpected. One of my favorite memories with an old boyfriend is of us scaling fences to go explore an old abandoned restaurant. It was exciting and off limits, but we couldn’t really have gotten in too much trouble. It all made for an experience I still remember years later.

So whether you’re trying to score your dream girl or woo your wife, remember these three tips and you will definitely be a step ahead!