There comes a point in every person's life when they have bad sex. Maybe it was awkward, or you have a different style than the other person. Maybe they simply didn't know what they were doing, or you were unable to communicate exactly what you wanted from them.
But what happens when you have tried patiently to explain what you like and what you don't and the person simply doesn't pay attention? This situation becomes even worse when the other person claims that the sex is the best they have ever had. Is this something that can be conquered in a relationship? If one person is unhappy with the sex, is it something that can be simply overlooked after time? Will feelings for the other person overcome the lack of physical desire? Or will it turn in to bitter resentment that one person is satisfied and the other isn't?
In our society, if a female is not physically satisfied and that is a primary cause of the relationship's demise, she is chastised for being superficial and not caring about the “deeper” connection that is not associated with sex. We are trained to think that there is more to a relationship, and indeed there is. If a relationship is only about sex, it will not last.
But the problem comes when the “more” is simply not enough. The prospect of living a life with unsatisfying sex is, well… unbearable in my mind. Maybe I am alone in my thinking, but I would prefer to live the single life forever rather than have unsatisfying sex for the rest of my life.
I'm not becoming a proponent of dumping a guy because the first time you have sex it isn't the mind-blowing hookup you want. I'm simply saying that, after time and attempts to remedy the situation, you have to make a decision about what you are willing to live with. If this is a person you cannot live without, you may be spending quite a lot of time alone in the bathtub. Or, you may just have to chalk another one up to Irreconcilable Differences…
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Thank you for this. Have been feeling selfish and superficial, but your helping me step out of that. It's true. Who wants to go through life unfulfilled? Interesting too, because if a man leaves for the same reason people will often say it's still the woman's fault. That she's a prude or should have taken better care of her man…