Perks and Perils of Modern Dating

In the sea of online dating and nightlife establishment options, you have access to a number of singles. The world of modern dating is confusing-it can be stressful to put yourself out there and begin new relationships.

You need to be prepared and know some things about the dating pool today in order to make it a more joyful experience.

Let's take a look at the good and bad of a search for a romantic partner in the 21st century:

The Good

#1 Access To A Lot Of People 

One of the greatest technology benefits in dating is that people nowadays can simply go onto an app on their phone and gain access to a multitude of singles immediately. Swiping left and right is easier and cheaper than dressing up to go out and mingle.

Previously, you would have to meet people at bars, at the workplace, school, social functions or through friends. If you put the effort into talking to these people, you should be able to meet somebody quite quickly.

A large number of people for you to go through means you can be more selective. You can go through profiles and pictures to decide who you want to speak to.

After you meet, you know that you can meet someone else quickly if the date didn't go well. This opportunity allows you to meet the right person and not settling for someone who doesn't treat you how you want to be treated. 

#2 You Get To Know Yourself

While engaging in dating community, it is likely that you are going to find a lot more of what you don't want than what you truly want.

Ask yourself what things are deal breakers, and what you can learn to compromise on as you begin to get to know someone better.

We all need to grow and change in relationships; they are our greatest teacher about ourselves as our actions and behaviors are reflected back to us by another's reactions and interactions.

To the extent that you are willing to learn and grow, you will find happiness in a relationship.

#3 Faster Communication

Today, we have the ability to chat with people easily and quickly no matter where we are. Our cell phones give us instant access to the people we want to talk to. It also helps us weed out the people who aren't interested because they won't respond as quickly.

Every communication process is faster, whether we want to know if the guy wants to hang out, or we want to resolve a problem. No matter the outcome, the situation can resolve itself fast.

This perk comes with a bad side. While we are able to text quickly, we tend to stick to text communication instead of actually talking in person. This can make in-person communication less personal.

#4 Our Safety Is Increased

Thanks to the evolution of the internet and other methods of “speed dating” or “instant dating“, it has never been easier to find someone to hang out with. This will bring you to some pretty unsavory characters.

Let's be honest, people don't give the ugliest version of the truth when presenting themselves. If you listen to your date with this in mind, you might not be so devastated when you find out that he is “temporarily” living with his mother until he gets back on his feet.

While before reputation depended on a word of mouth, now you are able to research your potential partner yourself. Not only do you have access to their dating profile, but you can also look at their social media profiles, do a Google search, and even do a background check if you're so inclined.

Guard yourself against those dark and shady characters by practicing safe dating. Have a look at some safety apps that can give you another sense of protection and tell friends what you are up to. If you are still in college, leverage your situation-use campus police to escort you when you don’t feel safe and look into campus-centric mobile apps. Meet in a public place for the first time.

Not giving out too much personal information right away, and taking things slowly will allow you to see the bigger picture that a person is presenting, rather than giving you some unwelcome surprises along the way.

The Bad 

#1 Dating Has Become More Relaxed

Dating is way more relaxed than it used to be. In fact, most people don't even go out on technical “dates” anymore. More often than not, it's more of an invitation to meet and get to know each other without the word “date” being mentioned.

The date itself is also less formal than it used to be.

Men used to come to the door with flowers in their nice clothes. If the girl lives with her parents, the man would meet the parents and promise to bring their daughter home safely and on time. Today, it's a lot different. Courtship is somewhat lost.

#2 Hookup Culture Is Making the Hopeless Romantics Miserable

It has never been easier to get exactly what you want out of relationships if you are willing to do the work.

People can be in different stages in their lives and want different things from a romantic relationship. If someone only wants a casual relationship where you both hook up for the same reasons on a Friday night, that kind of encounter is readily available and acceptable.

Unfortunately, some people will not admit their true intentions.

The key to getting what you want is to be upfront and honest about what you are looking for right away, so you can minimize any misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Say what you want, state what your intentions are, and then go out and find it.

#3 Breaking Up Is Different

Now that we have social media, breaking up can be much more complicated than it used to be. Previously, you would simply stop talking after the awkward meeting to return each other's stuff.

Now, someone leaves you over the text message with no explanation, or ghosts you and you can still see everything about them online. Even worse, exes have a tendency to rub in how well they are doing after the breakup.

They're not supposed to be having a good time! They are supposed to be miserable! 

In modern dating, you can’t afford to look at every date as a potential life partner-keep things casual and just have fun.

To Wrap It Up

As the world changes, dating changes with it.

There are good and bad parts of it, but the best idea is to take advantage of the resources available and skid into the chaos. Listen to your heart and open your mind to new things and new experiences.

Let life do a little bit of the orchestrating for you, and have faith in yourself and in the process.

Be sure to be clear about your expectations and desires, but have fun and hopefully you'll find the right person for you.