The Island of Misfit Toys

I met a guy at the gym recently who said, “When you're single and over 35, forget it.  It's like you're on the island of misfit toys.”

And it got me thinking… By the time we're 35, have we accumulated so much emotional baggage that if we're single, we perceive ourselves as unwanted, unloved, or defective?   Do we think of ourselves as the misnamed Charlie-in-the-box, the abandoned Dolly for Sue, or the train with square wheels?  

And do others perceive us this way? Is there a King Moonracer who, each night, travels the world to pick up all the new singles over 35 and bring them to the island?  Does he pick up the remnants from the 35+ speed-dating events, the leftovers from the church and synagogue mixers, and all those whose match.com account hit its ten-year anniversary?

Maybe I'm biased (as a single thirty-something), but I think there are plenty of other reasons people are “still single.”  Some have spent years in school, or focusing on their careers.  Some have spent years in an unhappy relationship.  Some have spent years traveling the world.  And some just haven't cared that much about finding a partner.  Does this make them unmatchable?  Not at all.  Does it make it more difficult for them to find a match because of the lives they've already developed?  Perhaps.

I'm sure we've all felt unwanted, unloved, and defective at times.  And I'm sure we can all name a few people who have major character flaws, people who we think deserve to be on that island forever.  But I don't think it has anything to do with age.

As my Aunt Bev used to say, “There's an ass for every seat.”  I think sometimes it just takes a little longer to match them up.