Is Sex the New "I Love You?"

It took me one night of drunken passion between friends (which should never really be told outside ‘the circle of trust'), to come to a harsh reality.

“Phil, I think you're too mature for your own age.” Too mature!?

Then it took me almost a year or so to finally realize that maybe that statement is truer than Jesus doing the Charleston. Being 22, I have only been in one serious relationship which lasted for three years. I attempted to jump back into the dating scene, but all three dates suffered from a lack of chemistry, or simply ending before they began.

I began to think: either I was not right for dating, or dating doesn't like me. After being baffled (thinking that it was something I was doing), I asked my friends for some consultation; most of them having no problems when it came to finding women. I learned that their relationships were brief because after the second or third month, sex would enter their relationship, and after that they moved on. I remember thinking two things after hearing that (and finally noticing the trend): I need some new friends, and why would someone do something so early in a relationship. It took me two plus years too finally reach that stage, and I was fairly comfortable with that; sex to me wasn't a necessity; it was keeping the relationship going. Putting it into a much bigger perspective, I remember telling her ‘I love you' at about the second or third month.

Talking with co-workers (mostly females), I found out most of their relationships started out the same way; some moving on and some staying with their ‘love' for months or even years at a time. I began to notice a trend with family and friends: “Sex matters, Love can wait.” To me, I think of that as loose and shallow, and I think that we've become a generation of poor morale and ethics. I always thought love as the first step to truly understanding yourself; you can't really discover who you are without the aid of a beautiful woman or man (which ever way you swing). After time, I began to realize that there can be several reasons why most people do this…

1. You need to get your fix: I'll admit, it's human nature and everybody has the urge to get their freak on. They do the deed simply by working on it for a couple months, and then after they get their fix, it's time for hibernation.

2. Sex is merely a gauge: If you can move your hips, you can move my heart. Excuse the language but I think that's a shitty reason, and I think that you're just a whore.

3. Relationships are moving at the speed of smell: My friend dated a girl for 2 and a half weeks and got married. Nuff said. I'm thinking that maybe people aren't worried about security over time; they want it right away and right now. I've noticed a lot of people and friends are in this mad rush to find their soul mate, those perfect people who will fulfill your every need till the end of time (December 2012). As soon as someone hears the words ‘I love you', it's time for some business, ‘because it's business time.'

4. Love is nothing more than a sashimi knife: Maybe people are afraid to be hurt, so they go into a loveless marriage/relationship; sex being no introduction to obligation. I think if most of the points don't relate to you, this can be one for you. You've experienced the feeling for first time of having your heart ripped out of your chest; after that, you just want to avoid love. When sex does come into the relationship, you treat it like nothing, almost like you expect it sub-consciously.

Disclaimer and Conclusion:

People are all different, and I am not one to judge. Everybody has their way of doing something, while other people may have the complete opposite style. This is merely an opinion so please don't run me over while I ride my bike riding door-to-door asking you if you'd like to hear the good word. Maybe I'm just an old fashion kid in an evolving world, but I ask you to take your time; you have years ahead of you so there is no need to rush. It may have hurt the first time you lost your love, but if you just take your time, maybe that one boy/girl is right in front of your eyes right now.