Making someone fall in love with you is hard, but keeping a man in love with you is even more challenging.
That said, it's definitely possible if you know what to do.
Thanks to science and research, you can follow reliable tips to make someone love you for a long time.
In this guide, I’ll let you in on scientific ways to keep your man in love with you.
This resource includes practical tips you can use whether you’re still in the early stages of your relationship, but your man is slipping away or if you’ve been together for decades and you simply want to keep the fire alive.
10 Tips to Keep Your Man In Love With You
Ready to find out how to keep a man's love?
Follow my tips below.
1. Trigger his hero instinct
What if I told you there was a way to ensure your man stays in love with you in the easiest, fastest, and most fulfilling way possible?
This is where the hero instinct comes into play.
While the idea of making a man feel like a hero seems backward, you’ll be surprised at how practical it is.
That doesn’t mean you should make your man feel like he’s the next Superman or Batman.
It simply means letting him feel that he’s helpful in your life.
To help you understand hero instinct better, let’s take a look at its origins.
The hero instinct is a term coined by James Bauer in his book His Secret Obsession.
According to Bauer, all men have this biological drive.
There are three pillars of the hero instinct:
- A man wants to feel needed.
- A man wants to feel trusted.
- A man wants to feel appreciated.
When you know how to make this instinct come to life, a man will want to work on his connection with you.
More importantly, he’ll want to commit to your relationship wholeheartedly.
The more you can fulfill these needs, your man will feel like a hero because he makes you feel safe, secure, and deeply in love.
What can you do to make him feel needed, trusted, and appreciated?
The key here is to be proactive.
Don’t just wait for him to do something for you and thank him for it.
You need to ask for his help.
Whether it's opening a jar, installing a new light, or walking you home to ensure you're safe, let him know that your life will be better with him in it.
After he does these things, thank him.
Recognize the effort that he puts into your relationship.
If he installed a new shelf for you, tell him something like, “I’m so happy you helped me. This would have taken me hours to accomplish!”
The hero instinct is not just about asking for his help.
Encourage him when he needs it.
When feels down, show your support.
When he’s facing obstacles in life, remind him of how strong his character is.
When you do these things, you’ll make him feel like a protector, a leader, and a man who can be trusted.
2. Tell him secrets
One of the most effective ways to keep a man in love with you is to tell him secrets.
When you tell a secret to someone, you share a unique connection that nobody else has.
Your secrets are personal things.
They can be about something you have done, something that happened to you, or something that scares you.
Disclosure inspires closeness and plays a massive role in developing romantic relationships.
When you divulge something to your man, it builds your rapport fast.
It can become an indicator of the strength of your relationship.
People who take advantage of intimate disclosure are generally liked more than those who disclose less personal levels of information.
I’m not telling you to tell your man your deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secret on your first date.
Note that you shouldn't feel forced to share secrets too early, especially if you're uncomfortable doing so.
Start with something trivial such as embarrassing stories from your past.
But as your relationship progresses, you can start sharing more intimate details about yourself – your fantasies, dreams, and many more.
3. Mimic him
Your similarity to the person you love is a crucial factor in attraction.
People tend to like those who are similar to themselves.
It's like getting butterflies when you find out you have something in common.
As you build your relationship and bond with a man, take advantage of the “chameleon effect.”
According to one study, mirroring a man’s gestures and movements indicates interest.
However, this heavily relies on timing.
For instance, if he touches his hair, do the same a few seconds later.
If he takes a sip of his drink, copy his movement.
Take note of how he rests his hands on the table and do the same.
Mirroring can even be applied to the words he uses, which you can copy later in your conversation.
Just make sure to “copy” him sooner so you two will seem more synchronized.
Obviously, do your best to avoid seeming obvious.
4. Keep him close
You'll be surprised at how much proximity can affect your man's behavior and keep him in love with you.
People are naturally drawn to familiarity.
The more you see something, the more attracted you'll become.
This has been proven in one research that involved a 320-person dormitory where students evaluated how they liked their peers.
It was found that people liked those who were near them physically, whether their rooms were nearby or if their floors were closer.
So if you want to keep your man in love with you, don't hesitate to ask him to hang out.
The more you see him, and the more he sees you, the more likely his feelings for you will develop deeper.
5. Take adventures together
Couples who partake in “adventure activities” like rock climbing, skydiving, or bungee jumping have a higher level of attraction and intimacy in their relationship.
But you don’t have to go through these extreme activities.
Any type of adventure inspires a certain level of attractiveness that can turn into arousal.
Even as simple as watching a scary movie or competing in a board game.
Couples trust each other more when they have fun and share excitement together.
They become deeply connected, and the purpose of their relationship seems clear.
In one study, men interacted with women either on level ground or on a high-suspension bridge.
It was found that they were more aroused by those on the bridge.
This indicated that people misattribute feelings of physical arousal with attraction.
So the next time you feel your man's love slipping away, take the initiative and ask him if he wants to try something new and exciting.
The experience you both share can help make your bond stronger.
6. Be positive
There's no doubt that optimistic people are more attractive than negative ones.
This is because they have more energy and enthusiasm.
So when you like someone, don't put all the focus on how you look.
Instead, ensure you give them enough reason to love you by being kind, empathetic, and dependable.
One study that grouped more than 2,100 men into three categories showed interesting results about men liking more positive women.
The first group was given only photos of women and were asked whether they found the woman attractive or more.
Meanwhile, the other two groups were given photos alongside information about the women's personalities.
One group mainly had positive traits, while the other had primarily negative ones.
The women with the most positive personality traits were considered more attractive than the other groups.
The best compliment you can receive from someone is a compliment about your character.
This is deeper than any compliment related to your physical appearance.
But how can you be more positive, especially when constantly facing bad days?
You can do this by simply smiling more.
Even dancing in the comfort of your own house before you go out will do wonders to improve your disposition.
That said, don't be overly desperate for attention, and don't attempt to fake your personality just because you want your man to like you.
Positivity should be genuine. It shouldn't be forced at all.
7. Thank him
Expressing gratitude is a small act that can significantly impact your relationship.
Expressing gratitude is even more important than the feeling itself.
When your man does something for you, whether buying your favorite meal or printing your documents, it's essential to express your thanks.
Tell him how you feel in person, or better yet, show him how you feel by doing something nice back.
Being grateful is not something that always comes naturally.
You have to intentionally look for things to be grateful for.
Once you adopt this mindset to your daily habit, you will keep a man's love and improve your overall well-being.
Your physical and mental health will develop, enabling you to notice happiness in everything happening to you.
8. Share his interests
You'll be surprised at how much you can learn about your man just by talking about his favorite things.
He'll feel open and more attracted to you if you seem genuinely interested in his hobbies and career.
So, to keep your man in love with you, learn about his interests!
I’m not saying you should become a basketball player or play video games 24/7, or even want to become an expert on his career.
Pick up something easy, like his favorite sport or a show he's into.
Show him that you're willing to partake in the activities he loves.
By showing that you care about his interests, you show that you care about him as a person.
And being a good listener is also an attractive quality.
9. Be confident
Confidence is probably one of the sexiest qualities to have for women.
Do you know someone who makes you feel good just by being in their presence?
This is because they have a unique confidence level and are comfortable in their own skin.
When you're confident, you'll feel happier about yourself, which can have an amazingly positive effect on your relationship.
Conversely, people with low confidence tend to be more insecure.
In time, it may lead you to question your partner's intentions.
No matter how much your partner tells you he loves you, trust will not come easily because you won't see your own self-worth.
As early as now, work on your confidence. This will dramatically change how your partner will look at you.
10. Maintain eye contact
You may think that making eye contact with your partner isn't all that important, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
It's a very important factor in falling and staying in love.
Not only does it demonstrate your confidence level, but it also shows that you're genuinely engaged with him.
Eye contact is an essential part of a healthy relationship.
It helps you maintain a connection with your partner and communicate your emotions without saying any words.
After all, eyes are the windows to your soul, right?
One study from 1989 also proved:
People who exchanged mutual eye contact for two minutes had increased passionate love for each other, even if they were strangers.
This study is a few decades old, but it's still true today.
Sebastian Klein is the founder of RelationshipsAdvice.co. He loves writing insanely practical guides based on scientific studies to help couples and individuals create the relationship they want. After a tough breakup, he started studying relationship dynamics to help people get from the “What should I do?” to “How to do it.” If you want to get in touch with him, visit his blog.