I was out with a female friend of mine not too long ago. We were talking about relationships and what not. We took up the topic of the things that we remember about relationships and what meaning we derive from them. I found this discussion intriguing because, well, I'd never really thought too much about it. So how do men and women view relationships in retrospect, when all is said and done?My friend, Bonnie, said that the things that she remembered most about her last relationship were the things that her ex had said, the promises he made and the sweet things he would say. Those were the things that would hurt her most when she would look back on that relationship.
You see, with her relationships things had gotten to the point where the guy would want to hang out and make plans with her and then totally flake, sometimes not even calling. This sort of behavior goes back to the whole “believe what I do and not what I say.” It's cliche, but, unfortunately remains true. What was happening, ultimately, is that the guy didn't want to be in the relationship anymore, but couldn't pony up the words to say to Bonnie, so he would flake on her and tell her what he thought she wanted to hear. That's what she holds on to, the things that he says; rather she remembers the emotional connection more than what they did together, the conversations…
I can't speak for all men, but I can say that I remember more the things that I've done with the women that I have dated more than conversations that we've had. That's not to say I don't think about the emotional attachment. I think about how I felt doing whatever it was that we were doing. That is, if I'd taken a trip with someone, I remember how I felt during the trip. If I had done something adventurous, I remember the adrenaline, the rush. Those are the things that standout the most for me, I feel.
Is this the same for all men and women? I don't know that I would say that, however, I think men and women tend to differ in this area and I'd like to know what your thoughts are about that. Comment. Discuss!