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Dating & RelationshipsFor WomenTips & Advice

10 Things You Can Learn About a Guy in 3 Dates or Less.

yannibmbr on December 3, 2009
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There are no absolutes in the world, save for the whole bit about death and taxes—this is particularly the case in the dating world. Dating websites are supposed to help us with this, to a degree. However, people tend to fluff themselves and filter out key pieces of information aka “deal breakers.” Getting to know someone is fun, but the problem is that it takes time… No one wants to waste time. So I'm going to give the ladies a little somethin' somethin' to help with filtering out men they may not be into.

  1. Messy or Clean? – There's a difference between a guy who lives perfectly pristine, mildly mess or OMGWTFBBQFTL is that an Opossum watching ‘Weeds' on your couch, with the remote!!!?  If you dig someone who is meticulous and, perhaps, a bit obsessive with cleanliness, this guy may be for you.  A mildly messy guy shows someone who is loose, goes with the flow and is open minded. They could also be sloppy, or just a bit lazy, if not immature.  Someone living in what seems like the remnants of Chernobyl is someone that has more issues going on than just their living area.  Be prepared and bring your gloves.
  2. Traffic: Man, traffic sucks, or You piece of @#$% go @#$% yourself!!! – A man's temperament should be a key indicator to the success of any relationship you look to jump into.  A guy cursing at and running cars off the road is a sure warning sign, or it should be.  Maybe you like guys with anger management issues… It's possible to be too upset and too mellow, they are extreme sides of the same coin.  If a guy doesn't care he's just been cut off and put in danger, then that could indicate that the man doesn't stand up for himself.
  3. Public Displays of Affection (PDA) – As with the ‘Three Bears Story,' there's too much, too little and just right.  Obviously, it's up to you to know which is right for you.  A guy that's holding you and groping you, otherwise smothering you, out in public probably has a need to show you off, or to demonstrate that he's got someone and that the world needs to know about it. It's validation, in some way.  If the guy's romantic way to end an evening is with a fist bump, then he's probably not sure if he's really into you or not, or could be lacking confidence.
  4. What Does he Order for Dinner? – What your guy orders can also be telling.  Is he a mac and cheese kind of guy.  Does he avoid the hip eatery around the corner?  Does he run and hide at the mention of a late night taco truck run?  Is he otherwise happy with Hamburger helper?  These are not inherently bad things.  They just serve as a gauge for you to know how open he is to different things.  Someone that isn't into exotic foods, or just trying new and different places may be someone not keen on trying too many different things…
  5. How Does He Prefer to Communicate? – Does your guy send you text messages all the time?  Does he take the time to call?  If he has to break his plans will call, email or text you?  If he calls you more often than not, especially when something comes up, this indicates that he's a bit more considerate and able to pony up and “be a man” when things get rough.  If he's texting a lot or emailing, he may just not be sure if he's completely into you, or simply, he may not be as mature as you'd like.
  6. His Group of Friends.  – The entourage that he rolls with; who do the consist of?  Are they high school friends, nearly exclusively?  Or is it a pretty good mix of people from various stages of his life?  If he keeps the company of the people that he's known since high school (aka forever) then he may have issues with trust and/or could be averse to change or stepping outside of his comfort zone.  This could also indicate a strong sense of loyalty.  If his circle of friends has a large variety then, yeah, that's someone who's not afraid to mix things up and probably open to newer experiences and offers something new more often.
  7. Does He Have a Favorite Team?  – Men who enjoy sports also tend to have a competitive attitude and also tend to be passionate.  This is also something that he may share with his buddies on a regular basis.  Not a bad thing, but watching the game, especially if it's the playoffs, may trump your plans or spontaneity.
  8. His Bad Habits. – Does he gamble?  Does he flirt with the help, like the waitress?  Does he fail to keep up with the laundry?  Does he interrupt you while you're talking?  Keep an eye out for some of his warning signs… Maybe they're endearing at first, but these little nuggets of info let you know what you're dealing with and just know these things probably aren't going anywhere.  Can you deal with them?
  9. What does He Spend His Money on?  – If you're looking for a mature guy and he spends his money on comic book character bust sculptures, maintaining his ten World of Warcraft monthly memberships or updating his impressive home entertainment system, then that might be an issue.  A guy that knows where he's headed plans for it, saves for it and gets there by being a responsible spender.  If he's spending things on more trivial items that may indicate that he's more of a free fun loving spirit… It really depends on what you are looking for to know if either way he spends his money is not good for you.
  10. How Does he Talk About Mom? – Again, there are no absolutes here, but if a guy has a poor relationship with mom, that can sometimes raise a red flag.  The mom is one of the most important relationships a man develops in his lifetime.  If a guy has issues with his mom, then it can sometimes be harder for him to understand, respect and even trust the new gal in his life.  However, if he's had issues with his mom and can say, positively, that he's worked them out or that he knows they need improvement, then that is a positive.  The other side to that is the mama's boy.  The guy who can't get enough of mom and that puts you in a competition to win attention from his mom.

Do these all work every time?  Seventy percent of the time they work every time.  So keep that in mind when reading up on this list.

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  • Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Women, Tips & Advice
  • Tagged in: Dating, For Women, habits

Posted by yannibmbr

Alex is the founder, creative director and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs his own boutique marketing agency in Orange County, Ca: DigiSavvy. Among his treasured pursuits are bike rides with his girlfriend (don't be perverted, now!), hiking, watching the Portland Trailblazers and the LA Angels. Follow Alex: Twitter | LinkedIn

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3 Comments

  1. Karen March 18, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    This was so insightful & right on the money! Thanks for you male insist & perspective 🙂

  2. Loverville April 25, 2010 at 7:37 am

    I'm keeping this list — so on target!
    .-= Loverville´s last blog ..My name is Loverville, and I'm a dateaholic. =-.

  3. 10 Things You Can Learn About a Guy Without Interrogating Him | Dating and Relationship Advice for Women, from an Expert Who's Been There January 17, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    […] Click here to read the rest of the article. […]

Comments are closed.

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Dating & Relationships

10 Things You Can Learn About a Guy in 3 Dates or Less.

by yannibmbr time to read: 5 min
Asides 10 Holiday Gifts Women Really Want.
Dating & Relationships Workplace Romance. Biting the Hand That Pays You, …
3