So I’ve found a new Gin to love. I’m no connoisseur of any alcohol outside of beer. I know, I’m sophisticated, right? What exactly does Gin have to do with three dates? Well, it (or any other alcoholic beverage, I suppose) has the ability to make a mediocre date go by quickly. It can also make a date that has the potential to be disastrous pretty awesome… Oh! Then there’s the third date. Well, that third date has nothing to do with Gin, I just thought It would make for an interesting title.
So where should I begin?
I guess I feel like talking about the two dates having to do with Gin. I’d set up two dates for a random Tuesday evening, when I happened to be off work early. The dates were staggered apart by a couple hours to allow for quality time spent on each date.
One gal, “Penelope,” was from the UK. Dig the accent. The other, Alice, was born and raised in the OC, younger than me and really quite different than the type of women I’d ordinarily go out with. A bit on the short side, blonde and had a thing for guys with tats and motorcycles aka not this guy. Penelope, by contrast, was tall, dark hair and up to speed on her pop culture was most interesting. I should mention, now, that all the women I went on a date with were met on the interwebs. That said, I’d had a chance to talk on the phone with each of them. Penelope and I talked for almost two hours the first conversation we had. I had high hopes for meeting her.
Alice, on the other hand, was a tough read. The conversation labored, as she talked about her and her group of friends and how they own the bar scene in Huntington Beach. The most important thing to her was that her guy would fit in with her friends and received their approval. Needless to say, I wasn’t keenly interested. At one point I thought she’d hung up on me when I told her I don’t own or ride a motorcycle. She called back in a few minutes and promptly suggested we meet up for a drink. I agreed, which surprised me… But I wanted to see if there was a connection in person.
Sometimes You Just Don’t Know…
I guess it should go without saying that you can never be sure about anything where it concerns dating. That’s something I am keenly aware of, which is probably why I decided to meet up with Alice in the first place.
My first date was with Penelope. We arranged to meet at this quaint, but hip, bar in an arts district near to us both. I sat at a table as I waited for my date. I see a woman in the distance, with flowing fabric dancing in the wind with each step… I’m wasn’t sure what to make of it, but there was no mistaking it was Penelope. I was reminded of a term by Ms. Taylorcast “Misleading angles.” That is, Penelope had great photos on her profile… But they were all head shots. I had made a rookie mistake and didn’t take care to ask for more pics. Well, Penelope was… a lot more than I was expecting. I know what I’m attracted to and she was a bit heftier than I prefer, her profile stated “average.” Well, her and I talked and I drank my Gin, Hendricks if you must know. Amazing stuff brewed with cucumber and rose pedals. Very feint in its flavor. But it’s really good. I was having a love affair with my Gin and glazing over my conversation with Penelope. Our date ended cordially enough with a hug and a peck on the cheek for each of us and that was that.
I was on my way to meet Alice at a bar in the downtown area near me. I’m about ten minutes late and I knew I was going to be so I text her and she replies she lives close by and just text her again when I’m there. So I do. She says, “I’m getting ready and I’ll be there in a few.” Well “In a few” turned out to be twenty minutes after I’d gotten to the bar. I was miffed, but I had my Hendricks in hand and I was instantly in love. No, this isn’t an advertisement, though, I wish it was and then I’d be getting sweet pay. But alas, it’s not to be. My drink and I melted the time away quickly. Alice showed up, had a seat and instantly began talking. I noticed that she was dressed nicely, like she’d taken time to put herself together, which I totally appreciate. Just as an aside, my biggest pet peeve is when I go on a date and the woman I’m meeting is wearing a sweat shirt, tank top and flip flops, or something just kind “blah, let me throw this on because it’s clean.” I always take time to take care of how I look going out the door. Meeting someone new is important, but I do it more for my date than myself. To me, it’s just a courtesy thing, one that irritates me when I do not see such courtesy in my date. I’m just sayin’. End rant. So our conversation picked up quickly, lots of flirty banter. We settled in at a table, away from the bar and continued talking. I felt as though I was talking to a different person. I’d forgotten my love for the Hendricks along the way to a delightful and fitting evening with Alice, a testament to our chemistry. Now, I should state, because I pointed out Penelope’s appearance, that Alice wasn’t exactly a thin gal either. I don’t prefer blondes, which I guess makes me no gentleman, I normally go out with brunettes. She was also short and my friends will tell you that I prefer taller women. Though, I have these preferences, I keep myself open to opportunity and date the gamut, if you will.
The Woman Who Decried “Smoking”
Lastly, I had been on a date recently with a girl in LA. Again, this was a date I was hopeful about. “Cynthia” was an interesting ethnic mix, a mix that I found to be most appealing. We met for a bite at a Brazilian eatery in LA and had great conversation about philosophies, music the afterlife and all that good stuff.
After dinner we walked around some and talked some more, we found a coffee place and picked up a couple cups for the walk. Things were going pretty well. So, in all, I was having a great time. Cynthia had asked me if I smoked, I told her “no, I didn’t.” She said she didn’t either, to which I replied, “well, even if you did, I wouldn’t have a problem with that.” It’s not something that bothers me, honestly. Our date ended shortly after that. We had both driven separately and were driving back to the freeway to go home. I’m behind her, when I see her click out of her window a lit cigarette… I’m thinking she didn’t realize I was there… It struck me as odd, I mean, why lie about such a thing? Especially after I’d stated that I didn’t mind if she did smoke, I’d say I went out of my way to explain that because I know that a woman can be self conscious on a date regarding that habit and I understand that feeling.
Ultimately, to me, it seemed like such a petty thing for her to lie about. I didn’t follow up after our date and didn’t return a text either. Was I nit picking? I don’t think so. In my mind if someone is going to lie about something so minute, then what about those bigger things that come along? What then? I chose not to leave such things to chance.
Three fairly different dates with different outcomes; I guess it should go without saying you just don’t know how things are going to turn out.
For some, I’d think it might discourage one from going on a date at all. However, I find that these discoveries are most telling in how we roll with it. That is, how do we choose to move forward with the things that we learn? I tend not to be terribly discouraged when a date, in particular, doesn’t go how I’d like. My date with Penelope could have the potential to make me not want to go on more dates… But I choose otherwise. I’m not discouraged by my date with Cynthia either. I isolate that date and what happened to just that date. I take the ‘one-game-at-a-time’ approach of Mike Scioscia, the Anaheim Angels Skipper. I think that helps keep focus and also promote a positive feeling about dating (because, let's face it… it can downright suck at times), in addition to being patient and open.