Blogging & Dating: 2009 in Review.

2009 has been an inter­est­ing and good year to me, much more so than that jerky 2008 ever was.  Ass­hole!  Any­way, I’ve taken time to really think about what 2009 has meant to me, with respect to dat­ing and blog­ging, and what I’ve learned from it all.

• Blog­ging about my dat­ing exploits — We offi­cially started this blog a lit­tle over a year ago.  I’ve learned a lot of things that I was sur­prised by.  You see, this site began as an exper­i­ment.  The exper­i­ment was to see how to go about gen­er­at­ing traf­fic and inter­est for a blog­ging site.  Dat­ing and rela­tion­ships were always a com­mon topic amongst friends and so it was some­thing I felt com­fort­able writ­ing about.  A funny thing hap­pened.  It turned that I really, really enjoyed blog­ging and shar­ing my per­sonal expe­ri­ences and opin­ions on the sub­ject of dat­ing and rela­tion­ships.  I’d never fan­cied myself as much of a writer; I still think I need a lot of help there.  How­ever, it’s been great fun for me and blog­ging has helped me meet and con­nect with numer­ous bril­liant and amaz­ing blog­gers.  It really has been an amaz­ing unex­pected gift.
• Blog­ging plat­forms and grow­ing pains — The site began as not only a blog, but a dat­ing com­mu­nity site as well where peo­ple could cre­ate pro­files and con­nect with each other… Yeah, that didn’ work out so well.  The blog was buggy, at best and the com­mu­nity gar­nered lit­tle to no inter­est.  So we reviewed the site traf­fic and con­tent and decided to stick to a blog based for­mat.  We then ported the blog to Word­Press and, I must say, it’s made all the dif­fer­ence, I feel.  In addi­tion to post­ing reg­u­lar con­tent (just check out the num­ber of posts for the last few months) the SEO value that Word­Press provies “out of the box” has been huge as well.  We’ve learned a lot there.  If you’re going to blog, try self host­ing your blog and I’d highly rec­om­mend Word­Press or Type­pad.  If you have ques­tions about any of that, con­tact us! We’re happy to help.
• How many women can I date at the same time before I break the bank — Four.  Yes, I was dat­ing four women at one point.  I thought I was actu­ally doing pretty well at that time, too.  Then I find men and women dat­ing well over that… All of the women I was see­ing at that time I was see­ing only on a very casual basis.  Things add up quickly, really quickly.  Din­ner for two here, a cou­ple drinks there times four (being me, I gen­er­ally tend to pay if I ask the girl out) really drains a pay check.  So I learned to scale it back and focus my ener­gies on one or two at a time.  I also learned that if a gal is really inter­ested in your, she tends to be more assertive in pick­ing up the tab… What does that tell me now?  Hmmm.
• Some­times get­ting back together with an ex is a bad idea — I had been in a rela­tion­ship with this woman for over a year and things just didn’t work out.  Well, sev­eral months later we revis­ited that rela­tion­ship only to find that, yeah, it still wasn’t going to work out… Lame, right?  Truly, a good con­nec­tion isn’t enough with­out under­ly­ing depth to the rela­tion­ship and no mat­ter how many times you watch the same movie, it ends the same way.
• For­get what I just said… — In a com­plete con­tra­dic­tion to what I just wrote, some­times get­ting back together with a flame is a good thing.  I learned that there are times when you can “go back.”  There are times when a rela­tion­ship doesn’t really get a chance to work.  I had that hap­pen, I had to back out of a rela­tion­ship to get some things fig­ured out in my own life, deal with my own bag­gage as it were.  I was for­tu­nate to be able to come back into a rela­tion­ship that didn’t really get a chance the first go-​​round.  Things, thus far, have been really good.
• Being respon­si­ble with other peo­ples’ feel­ings — So there have been women that I’ve gone out with in the past and I would “do the fade” if I wasn’t inter­ested.  That is, I would dis­ap­pear and pretty much ignore a gal that was no longer into.  Imma­ture.  This is a les­son that should have been learned long ago.  Treat­ing peo­ple with respect should be a no brainer.  Fad­ing out is dis­re­spect­ful.  I’ve made an effort to be more up front with my feel­ings and what I’m think­ing.  Sure, there are times when these thoughts and feel­ings have to be dragged out of me, but I still come out and say what I mean and what I feel.  If I hadn’t come to that real­iza­tion I wouldn’t be in the rela­tion­ship I’m in now.
• One night stands are still plenty of fun — Yes, I’ve been used a few times this year.  Yes, I felt dirty and cheap and like a piece of meat… But it was sooo much fun.  =)  I know, punch me now.
• I still appeal to cougars — Yaaaaay!  Yep, I was out on a date actu­ally and I was at a bar known for it’s older crowd.  I was walk­ing across the bar when an older lady yanks at my col­lar. “I LOVE your shirt.  What are you wear­ing?”  I do love them older women that know what they want.
• The art of hang­ing out with an ex. — Yes there is an art to hang­ing out with an ex.
• I have a new love — Hen­dricks Gin. I love that stuff!!!  I should be a spokesper­son for them.  That gin has sus­tained me through some inter­est­ing dates.

Related posts:

1. The Wardrobe in Review.
2. New Zealand Women Say “No dat­ing, thanks, just sex please.”