How Not to Get Punched in the Neck on the First Date.

Okay, so you prob­a­bly won’t get punched in the neck on your first date. Which is a good thing, unless you’re into that sort of action. This arti­cle looks to dis­sect a few areas that can help make those first few dates suc­cess­ful ones… The arti­cle is geared more toward the guys out there, but women should be able to find some gold here, as well; from choos­ing a place to meet, find­ing what you should spend and how to keep things mov­ing along if things are going well.

What are the ingre­di­ents of a suc­cess­ful date?

While the fol­low­ing list isn’t com­pre­hen­sive, it does span some of the more impor­tant ele­ments I feel are key to a suc­cess­ful date.

Loca­tion, Loca­tion, Location

When you’ve met some­one that you want to meet up with and they want to meet you then choos­ing a spot to meet is the next impor­tant step.

The impor­tance of choos­ing a good spot to meet peo­ple is as cru­cial, I feel, to the con­ver­sa­tion you and your date have. The loca­tion you choose to meet shows the fol­low­ing: It shows your will­ing­ness to put thought into your date and find a place they might like; it shows that you are a per­son who is inter­ested in try­ing good places and dif­fer­ent things; and, believe it or not, the decor and ambiance of a good spot just makes you look bet­ter. Who doesn’t look bet­ter in dimly lit sur­round­ings, with inter­est­ing art­work adorn­ing the walls around you?

To find what loca­tions you should find, I think it’s impor­tant to cross off some loca­tions you shouldn’t go to. Again, this is just my opin­ion. But for any­one going on a date look­ing for a place to meet, I would advise them against any chain estab­lish­ments (there are excep­tions to any rule, how­ever). Specif­i­cally, I would steer clear of Star­bucks, Friday’s, and the Movies (if it’s a first date, that is). The places I men­tioned because they do lack orig­i­nal­ity and effort, I believe. Instead, I’d rec­om­mend you take a look at http://​cityguide​.com or http://​yelp​.com and look for places in your area. Get to know your com­mu­nity. Pick out a few poten­tial spots that are well reviewed. You’re guar­an­teed to find a great spot.

Good Con­ver­sa­tion

This one seems to be a given. A good con­ver­sa­tion is essen­tial to a good date. Though, I did find some times where con­ver­sa­tion wasn’t so good, yet I still man­aged to have a good date. Weird, right? Well, I can’t tell any­one how to be a good con­ver­sa­tion­al­ist. And the old adage, “be inter­est­ing” cer­tainly holds true. How does one man­age to be inter­est­ing?
Read up on your cur­rent events. Know­ing what’s going on in the world gives you plenty to talk about.
Be excited about your­self when talk­ing about your inter­ests… But don’t be TOO excited. What that really means is that if you are inter­ested and excited about who you are and what you do, so will your date. How­ever, it’s a fine line. You don’t want to talk too much about your­self. More times than not you will find your­self lis­ten­ing more to your date and ask­ing your date what they are inter­ested in. I highly rec­om­mend that, actu­ally.
Don’t dom­i­nate the con­ver­sa­tion. I pretty much touched on this on the pre­vi­ous bul­let point. But it’s impor­tant enough to men­tion it again. Lis­ten more than you talk, in most instances. Find­ing a good bal­ance to a mutu­ally ben­e­fi­cial con­ver­sa­tion is key and is easy enough… Some­times it’s not easy to gauge if we’ve been talk­ing too much. If you’re keen on body lan­guage, your date’s expres­sions and man­ner­isms can help you detect if you’ve gone blab­ber­mouth. So pay attention.

Ask ques­tions. Most peo­ple like to talk about them­selves, so ask ques­tions. Don’t probe, how­ever, if your date isn’t com­fort­able and try not to make it like an inter­view, which most dates with new peo­ple tend to be.

Be funny, but not at the expense of your date. Do you want to get punched in the neck? I didn’t think so.

What to wear and other stuff…

I’m no fash­ion expert so I’m not going to tell you what sort of cloth­ing you should wear, but more a gen­eral guide­line of what to think about. First off, what ever you do, don’t show up naked. That will not lead to a sec­ond date. The thought you put into your date is more impor­tant than any label or trendy piece of cloth­ing you choose to wear. After all, it really is the thought that counts. First impres­sions are impor­tant, so dress accord­ingly. Some­times a t shirt and sneak­ers are not the way to go. Try upgrad­ing the out­fit with dress shoes, or non-​​athletic foot apparel. Instead of the t shirt, try an ironed button-​​up shirt. Tuck it in. Oh! The one fash­ion fum­ble I warn against is wear­ing white socks with black shoes. That one just angers me and if you do that then you should get punched in the neck.

Regard­less of what you don for your date it should look like you put thought and effort into it. A woman can tell, after all.

In Short

The theme that is most recur­ring in a date is thought­ful­ness and being con­sid­er­ate. These things will show them­selves with­out any expla­na­tion on your part. You need only take a few min­utes to do most of the things men­tioned. If you take time to do them, you’ll have a good date.

Related posts:

1. Dat­ing Recipes 101: Beyond the First Date
2. Dat­ing Recipes: the Artsy Cul­tural Date Thing.