The Breakup Jerk

Because he’s feel­ing like a jerk, Yan­nibmbr wanted me to tell about my “jerk” moment of break­ing up.

In my defense, I was young and this was the first guy I’d ever slept with.

We’d been dat­ing long dis­tance for two months before he flew his unem­ployed ass out to meet me. We spent that night in a hotel room and had won­der­ful sex. Yes, I lost my vir­gin­ity in a hotel room. A nice clean hotel room. So there!

The rest of the week­end was sneak­ing in sex in between stay­ing with my par­ents. I was a broke col­lege stu­dent liv­ing with my folks at the time. So yeah, he was tor­tured with meet­ing my family.

I really wanted to be in love, and con­vinced myself that I was.

Two months later, I was to fly out to see him for Christ­mas. I’d had gnaw­ing thoughts that this rela­tion­ship wasn’t going to work long term, but I ignored it. I didn’t have money for the ticket, so I con­vinced him to pay for it and I’d pay him back.

I arrive after spend­ing 5 hours on a plane. My first plane flight ever. I was not in a good mood. Bitch would prob­a­bly have suited me well at that point. He wanted to hug and snug­gle, and I wanted a cool drink and shower.

I even­tu­ally relaxed.

The next morn­ing, he wakes me as he heads off to his temp-​​job. He has a ring box in his hand. He opens it and its a yel­low gold dia­mond eter­nity band. Its pretty and looks expen­sive. He says its a promise ring, and is all excited about giv­ing it to me.

I how­ever am flip­ping the shit out. He’s rel­a­tively unem­ployed. He bought my ticket. He is now pre­sent­ing me with expen­sive jew­elry.. diamonds..

Alarm bells went off in my head. I started to ques­tion his abil­ity to be respon­si­ble with money. Let alone the whole freak­ing wak­ing me up in the morn­ing and being cheery (seri­ously thats a good way to get hurt).

It didn’t get better.

The next day I had a chance to talk to his room­mate (which btw I totally fell in love with, awe­some guy) who told me that my ex didn’t have much finan­cial sense. His mother and father were loaded and finan­cially gave him what­ever he wanted. Great!

A cou­ple days later, we go out with his friends. We’re head­ing to a bar, and since my ID is out of state the bouncer thinks its fake and calls the cops. The entire party goes inside and leaves me out there alone. (My ex stays inside obliv­i­ous) Even though I know my ID is real, I had never ever had any kind of run-​​in with the cops before. I was a lit­tle scared. The cop came and called it in, while ask­ing me inane ques­tions about my home state Nebraska.

They finally let me in and I found my ex hap­pily cavort­ing with his friends. To say I was steamed was putting things mildly, but since we were out with friends, I put a smile on.

Things just spi­raled down­hill from there.

My family’s Christ­mas is cheap btw. No one spends a whole lot of money on any­one. It’s flaunt­ing your riches if you do.

So when I went to his family’s Christ­mas and he brought out the $400 watch he’d bought me, the $50 leather wal­let, and a bunch of other trin­kets… I kinda threw a fit. (Lets just for­get that the watch looked like some­thing my mother would wear) His par­ents bought me nor­mal things (hats, mit­tens, etc).. thank God.

He insisted that I keep the watch. I insisted that it be returned. We com­pro­mised. He said he’d take me to the store to look and see if there was some other watch I’d rather have. I humored him. I wasn’t going to pick out that expen­sive of a watch. period.

I’m a bit of a klutz.. or at least I was back then.. that $400 watch would have been demol­ished in a mat­ter of weeks.

We ended up return­ing the watch, walk­ing next door and buy­ing a $20 fash­ion watch.

Like a chicken, I waited until I got home to break up with him. I did it in a phone call. I explained it wasn’t work­ing and that I didn’t love him.

I kept the dia­mond ring, and I never paid for the plane ticket.

Related posts:

1. Break­ing Down the Breakup.