When Bad Dates Go Good…

It’s not too often that I go and have a bad date.  I mean, I’ve been on a lot of dates!  Just because a first date doesn’t lead to a sec­ond one doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily mean that it was bad or any­thing.  It just means that the magic wasn’t there and can still have a great time.  On the other side of the coin, though, I’ve been on good dates that went south quickly, seem­ingly for no rea­son at all.  That’s hap­pened a few times.  How­ever, I’ve yet to expe­ri­ence a crap date that ended up going well; and, that, dear read­ers is what I am going to tell you about today.I don’t think there’s really any wis­dom for you to gain from my post on this fine fuzzy day.  Just come along for the ride, it’ll be short and to the point, I’m hoping.

Any­way, I’d been talk­ing to this girl, Carla, who I met off the good ol’ PoF site (like Myspace, that site should be dead to me… but it’s got­ten me so much ‘play’ over the years that it’s hard to turn a blind eye to the damn thing) and we decided we were going to meet up for cof­fee.  Carla seemed pretty warm to the idea and we were set.  We met at this cof­fee house not too far from the local uni­ver­sity.  She ended up being about fif­teen min­utes late, she had got­ten lost sup­pos­edly.  Twenty min­utes and less I can for­give actu­ally, call me crazy.  I’m sit­ting there with my cof­fee when she walks up, we give each other a quick hug.  I offer to buy her a cof­fee or some­thing else, she politely declines and says she’s fine.  So we sit down at a table.  As I’m pour­ing over and slurp­ing down my cof­fee, our eyes meet and there’s a cou­ple moments of awk­ward silence.  I was a bit put off that she didn’t get some­thing to drink, that was part of what we were doing, get­ting cof­fee and get­ting to know one another.  Right?  Carla wasn’t mak­ing it easy for me, so I asked her how she was doing.  She goes into a story of how she had some car issues and then issues with her job and then more issues with her liv­ing sit­u­a­tion… Need­less to say, she was start­ing on a low-​​note.

I inquired about the job sit­u­a­tion, Carla didn’t want to talk about it.  As I was about to ask her some­thing else, she cut me off and said, “You know, it’s been a pretty shitty month.  I don’t want to talk about it.”  Okay.  At this point I didn’t notice the scald­ing hot cof­fee incin­er­at­ing my mouth and throat due to the awk­ward turn our date was decid­edly tak­ing.  Right about then she laments that the weather isn’t cold enough, “it’s noth­ing like Ore­gon,” she says.  “Oh really! That’s where I’m from!” I reply, excited we have some­thing in com­mon to talk about.  That’s when she tells me about the ass­hole girl­friend she moved up there with.  I men­tioned that liv­ing with friends can ruin a friend­ship, that’s when Carla offers that they weren’t just friends, they’d been in a seri­ous rela­tion­ship for six years.  Oh.  That’s not what I expected.  I don’t have a prob­lem with les­bians or gays and bi-​​sexuals.  Hooray for them!    I just know that with a woman who swings from both sides of the plate has more dimen­sions to under­stand, I see that as a poten­tial flag.  Again, Carla spins on about this rela­tion­ship and the neg­a­tiv­ity is bring­ing me down.  I set my cof­fee down and I men­tion to her: “Dude, I think you need a stiff drink.”  Her face lights up, “Best idea of the week!”  Okay then!  Let’s go to a bar.

I drive us to a Jazz bar not too far from the cof­fee house.  We set down and have a cou­ple beers and lis­ten to some good music, which was a bad call on my part in hind­sight because live and loud music obvi­ously isn’t con­ducive to good con­ver­sa­tion.  How­ever, I wanted the rea­son not to talk as things were just really going nowhere.  After a cou­ple songs, the house band takes a break.  Then I men­tion to Carla that I have a long day ahead tomor­row and that I should go home.  “You’re lame, that sucks” she exclaims.  I’m con­fused by this.  I wasn’t really hav­ing a good time and she didn’t seem to be either.  She yanks my arm to set­tle up the tab and says, “I know a great bar around the cor­ner from here.”  Away we go to another bar.  Carla offers to buy me a shot. I told her she could buy us both a shot, but I get to call it.  She agrees.  I order a ‘Dead Nazi.’  As an aside the Dead Nazi goes by many names and no one gets it quite right, so I just tell the bar­tender what’s in it and they make it and say, “Oh! You just ordered a ‘blah blah blah’ or some­thing.”  It’s a Dead Nazi and here’s what’s in it: Equal parts Jaeger, Rum­plem­intz, gold­schlager and 151.  It tastes like cin­na­mon and burns like a demon blow­ing his load in your chest.  It’s a nasty visu­al­iza­tion, I real­ize… But it’s about accurate.

The shot lights us both up pretty well by that point.  Things have obvi­ously light­ened up quite a bit between us and she seems to be hav­ing a bet­ter time.  We’re jok­ing around and I know I’m hav­ing more fun.  We each get up on stage and do a karaoke num­ber each… I think my ren­di­tion of ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ is top com­edy, in my opin­ion.  After Carla’s num­ber we go back to my car and I tell her I need to leave and we go back to her car.  I’m parked and we’re talk­ing and I tell her I had a good time and we should do it again.  She nods her head and gives me a hug and as I begin to pull away she’s right in my face… So when someone’s really in my face, I’ll kiss em.  It could be  your per­vert Uncle, Sid Touchalot and I’d prob­a­bly kiss that guy, too!  So I kissed her and, man, Carla kissed me back as in she rocked my seat back.  I mean, I was lik­ing it, it was sur­pris­ing.  So after some num­ber of hot and heavy moments in the car we both com­pose ourselves…

We ended up back at my place.  I won’t give any details, but I’ll just state that some­times bad dates can “go good.”  Alco­hol is the key it turns out, alco­hol is key…

Until next time, try not to date rape anyone.

Cheers!

Related posts:

1. Dates, Dives and a Whole Bunch of Gay People.
2. Three Dates & Some Gin Sound Mighty Good to Me…
3. Escap­ing a Bad Date
4. The 8 Minute Dat­ing Exper­i­ment Part 2: The Dates
5. 10 Things You Can Learn About a Guy in 3 Dates or Less.