I’ve posted a time or two about out-of-control-dating lists and how they suck. Dating lists, more than anything, highlight the reasons why a person is single. Sure, sure, you don’t want to ‘settle’ for someone. But an asshole list isn’t about settling. It’s about being too scared to give in to someone else who will be your everything in the world. You shut others off before they have a chance to get to know you because they’ve been filtered out by your ridiculous list of requirements! Which is merely a reflection of one’s own insecurities.
Tonight, I had the pleasure of talking to a friend. She’s young. But one of those young people that pisses you off because they’re so smart and got-it-togetherness that goes well beyond their years and they don’t even know it… Yeah, she’s like that.
Anyway, we talked about relationships and I asked her what she wanted. I was annoyed by her answer because it was eloquent, honest and a general bad ass. I think this list of her is spot on. I think everyone could learn a lesson or two from this twenty something .
humor number one first and foremost always and forever
make me laugh = button on my pants are already undone first step
i can’t stand men who blame their problems on other people like their parents or their ex’s
i need someone to have goals. like big ones. that scare them.
i need someone secure who won’t text me every five minutes or ask who i’m texting
i need someone who doesn’t hold me back and doesn’t live their life around me
people shouldn’t complete each other
they should compliment each other
Take note people. You can tell by what she wants that she’s secure. In some ways you may find it naive. But it’s not. It’s what a good relationship is. At it’s core, a relationship that is healthy is one where you can be romantic and silly with one another, regardless of who is watching. If you’re secure in yourself, the above items are merely a natural by-product of such.
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