The Anatomy of a Crazy Text Message.

Men have it tough! You women are scary, scary crea­tures. A crazy woman, the­o­ret­i­cally, could beat the snot out of pla­toons of trained killers. Imag­ine the car­nage if Xerxes unleashed an army of crazy women on Sparta. 300 doesn’t get made. Damn. That’s extreme!

The power of text mes­sag­ing is pretty amaz­ing. It’s amaz­ing because one can really send out mes­sages and express their thoughts and feel­ings and take the time to craft them appro­pri­ately. Sure, we can’t “feel” text mes­sages, the absence of tone and emo­tion, among other things, make it quite dif­fi­cult to deci­pher what the true mean­ing of text mes­sage are sometimes.

That said, ladies, take heed; the fol­low­ing is a string of text mes­sages from a crazy woman to a good buddy of mine. Don’t be crazy! Stop it! That said, read on:

I’ll paint the pic­ture for you. My friend, Rod, recently broke up with his girl­friend. He was look­ing for some non-​​committed coitus. While out at a local bar, he spies a good-​​looking girl. They talk; exchange num­bers and plans to meet on a Mon­day are set in motion. They met, I believe on a Fri­day or Thurs­day. The girl in this story is Melina.

Melina: Can’t wait to see you on Mon­day!
Rod: Me too! Should be fun
Melina: I wish we could see each other sooner
Rod: I can’t. Got too much stuff going on. Good things come to those who wait.
Melina: I can’t assume any­thing hun. You have ur friends and a busy sched. So I can’t force myself into it and babe, if u have ques­tions, ask away

A Day Later…

Rod: Ahem, you have called me like 6 times today, lol
Melina: On acci­dent! My ass called you! I do want to see you!
Melina: love to c u but made a promise and yes called a bunch of times on pur­pose and acci­dent to hear your voice, so there. Ttu soon.
Rod: Please, don’t call me so much. I know you want to talk to me but I have things I’m doing. I will get back to you as soon as I can. I know that one call was an acci­dent due to the msg. We’ll just have to wait till Mon­day.
Melina: I never knew that was a prob­lem. Got it. Just wanted to clar­ify and just don’t answer like you haven’t been doing, you still don’t get charged. Bye
Rod: What? I’m con­fused about the sec­ond half of your mes­sage I’m not answer­ing because I’m at a party and I think it would be rude to talk. (Rod, has told this girl to chill out a few times now..)
Melina: You told me not to call so much and I’m sorry I did. Just wanted to clar­ify the acci­den­tal calls. Have fun and I’ll talk to you when I’m allowed.
Rod: Allowed? To call me huh? Maybe u didn’t mean it that way, but I don’t like the way that sounded
Melina: You know I like you. That’s not a secret. I guess I’ll just talk to you later. Good night, be safe and have fun.
Melina: I don’t call to annoy u or re-​​emphasize that I’m on your cock. I like you, that’s it. If I choose to call you because I like to talk to you, that’s a diff’ story
Melina: I like you, Rod, but don’t like the assump­tion that I’m on your shit. Let it go already.
Melina: I’m really buzzed and am being a bitch. Look, have fun and for­get what my dum­b­ass has to say. I like you paisa, A LOT, let’s mak.

Sev­eral min­utes later, with Rod at the party, still. Rod goes to drain fer­til­ize the Petu­nias and Melina calls on his phone, which he left at a table with his other friends…

Melina: Don’t call me ever again! (She had spo­ken to Rod’s friend, and hung up on the guy)
Rod: Wow. That was my buddy. He wanted to talk to you and say hi. Didn’t mean to make you angry
Melina: yeah but I’m being com­pared to what you want. I’m done.
Melina: He’s let­ting me know what I’d known for a bit. You’re not over her, so what the fuck and I sup­posed to do? Sit here and look stu­pid. I highly doubt it. Work it out with her, Rod. It’s what you want.
Rod: No, that’s not what he or I said. He said that I’m just deal­ing with some shit right now, which is true. It’s not like I’m going to go back to her. I’m a bit hurt and need to work that out. I do like you and like talk­ing to you. Sev­eral calls a day is too much for me right now. I just want to relax and spend some time hang­ing out. I think you are over­re­act­ing.
Melina: Then don’t text me or call me back. Do what you gotta do and if we don’t hang on Mon­day, I’m good with it. Tired of giv­ing too much to peo­ple who don’t deserve me.
Melina: I’m seri­ously done, if you are. The last thing I want is to look stu­pid and if I’m a rebound, which your friends even think I am, let me fuck­ing go. Bye.
Melina: No reac­tion? What I thought! DO me a favor and never con­tact me again. Oh wait, appar­ently I’m the only rea­son why. Sorry, that will fuck­ing end right now!

These texts are from after the party…

Melina: Hi. Don’t remem­ber much of why we argued last night but I do know it started because of me. I’m so sorry. I know your friend didn’t mean any­thing bad by what he said, but it struck a nerve to hear about her and imme­di­ately hurt my feel­ings. I want to talk to you later tonight about it. Please let me know if your lack of response makes me feel like shouldn’t even bother.
Rod: I have been think­ing about this all day actu­ally and I don’t think it will work out between us. I don’t mean to hurt u in any­way and u shouldn’t feel stu­pid I just don’t think you’re right for me. I wish u noth­ing but the best.
Melina: I will get back to you in detail in a bit. I’m a lil con­fused. Not that will change any­thing.
Rod: Sorry that you are con­fused. I don’t know how to make it more clear. I don’t think we are right for each other and I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to hang out, I’m sorry.
Melina: no. I get the fact that we won’t be hang­ing. I’m a lit­tle dumb but not stu­pid. Plus no need to be sorry or feel sorry. I maybe impul­sive life think­ing about maybes and wish­ing for some­thing or some­one I can’t have. My emo­tions are strong and I do let them show but am still very pro­tec­tive of them. It sucks that we won’t talk any­more because both you and I know at least that was fun. I wanted to say this to you through a phone call. But I didn’t. Plus no need to come off like ur break­ing up with me. U don’t owe me any­thing. I was just con­fused about the fact that u were so eager to see me.

The day after they were sup­posed to meet…

Melina: If I came off like a bitch the other day I’m sorry. I was really drunk and again, I’m the only per­son that should look out for ME and pro­tect MY emo­tions
Melina: Just wanted to make sure what I sent was clear. I will do you the favor of never get­ting back to you, no worries.

Another day passes. Notice the lack of responses from Rod…

Melina: Look you don’t have to say any­thing, but I hon­estly don’t feel good about any­thing that has hap­pened between us, as much as I want you to I don’t expect you to understand

Melina then used a friend’s phone to call Rod, so he’d pick up… He hung up on her…

Rod: You told me you were done and I have left it at that. I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk anymore.

Melina (Still from a friend’s phone): My feel­ings were hurt. I was a bitch. I know. Let me at least talk to you, please. I miss my friend. We didn’t even end things prop­erly. I don’t know how to say the words…
Melina: Please hear me out, Rod. Call me, please.

A week later or so, no other text mes­sages until…

Melina: Please just hear what I have to say. I am so sad and just want you to lis­ten to me for a minute. I don’t expect you to change your mind.
Melina: At least tell me that I’m full of shit or some­thing. I am not ashamed to say I am beg­ging you for a minute of your time.
Melina Don’t blame a girl fro still try­ing. I miss your ass. Please for­give me.
Melina: What can I do to have you for­give me?
Melina: Rod, I miss you!
Melina: I’m so stu­pid to have lost some­one like you. The two weeks we spent talk­ing allowed me to finally BE me and I’m truly grate­ful, please find it in your heart to take me back. I know YOU know we had an amaz­ing con­nec­tion even as friends. Don’t deny that. We at least had that chemistry.

A few days later…
Melina: This sucks! I’m in OC and we’re not even talk­ing, the irony of shit. (That’s not irony, that’s just crazy)

No responses from Rod in about two weeks…
Melina: I’m think­ing about you and want to say hello -(

Related posts:

1. What Do I Do About a Guy That Doesn’t Text Me Back?
2. Online Dat­ing: What to Say in a First Message.
3. 3 Day Rule… This Guy’s Perspective